I love that he wastes so much time with tough-guy posturing, too. He makes sure we know he'll kick an ass if it touches one of his female possessions, though said possession could save him the trouble by rethinking her tone before it gets that far.

Jack Burton: You know what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like this?
Thunder: Who?
Jack Burton: Jack Burton. *Me*!

Who didn't want to be Lightning? The scene towards the end when he blows up the grate then does the slow walk ... image burned into my memory forever.

go fuck yourself.

Dudebro is an idiot. But cops are trained to de-escalate situations. This cop did the exact opposite, and thus is very much the one in the wrong.

It looks to me like she was talking to someone that she could see farther down the course and was raising her hand to wave.

The idiocy of this comment epitomizes your entire tenure at Deadspin.

if only there was somewhere you could search that

Personally, what I'm lovin' is the way the glove behind his head sort of makes it look like Tejada's brain was blown out of his skull and into his helmet by the hit.

Now that he's no longer in San Diego, his offense will probably start showing up three hours sooner than it did in the West.

he can damn well do whatever he wants

No they wouldn't.

HAHAHA. Few things are as amusing as Darren getting trolled hard.

MLS: We would like land for a soccer stadium.

plus the 177k who watched on ESPN2

The 14,000 who watched the Portland Thorns play the Boston Breakers this weekend might think so.

womens soccer is more successful now than its ever been, and that's largely because that crappy league is gone. Now the center of women's soccer can be where it always should have been... The pacific northwest.

At least he died doing what he loved: ruining a soccer game for everyone else involved.

Hey Mike Vick might have slaughtered innocent puppies with his bare hands but at least he didn't love another human being.

Why do I get the feeling that Seahawks fans are about to become football's version of St. Louis Cardinal fans?