I used to keep a log. Then my computer got stolen. About a year later, I discovered that I had saved the log on my external hard drive and I was like FUCK IT, I DON'T REMEMBER NOW. Sex happens.

I have a female dog named Wilbur because she oinks like a pig because she's old and weird. (I adopted her when she was 14 three years ago and she's still going strong.) I've introduced her to people and their first reaction was "HOW DARE YOU?!?! THAT'S A MAN'S NAME!" Yeah, sorry, she doesn't speak English and she's…

I think it does.

Very cute, except it looks like Prickle is trying to escape drowning doom. Makes me nervous.

"Okay, but I want you guys to know..." You know the rest of that sentence was "I'm not racist."

Oh, no!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Did anyone around you say anything? Once near Downtown Oakland, a guy whipped out his wee wee (I'm immature, whatever) and everyone around him was like "NO. PUT IT BACK AND LEAVE." Mob style. I feel like people in Oakland are more on top of shutting that shit down than in…

Oh, HELL NO. What did you do? That shit (or pee) doesn't fly with me.

Holy shit (KINDA PUN), me too. 8:00am, Market & 4th. He was just popping a squat and people were walking by him like it was nothing. I'm so glad I don't have to go into the city anymore. Oakland rules.

Do not let your freshly made Easy Bake Oven brownies fall on your toes. You'll have scars for life.

Holy IDEAL, Batman!