Counterpoint: This list is bullshit because it doesn’t even have Wild Berry on it.

[Speedo has] enjoyed a winning relationship with Lochte for over a decade and he has been an important member of the Speedo team, we cannot condone behavior that is counter to the values this brand has long stood for.

Unless Eto’o makes you a contender purely by being Eto’o.

You don’t want it enough.

.

Between Melo and Cube, I may have to reassess my vote. I must be missing the appeal.

Which will Deadspin(/Univision) receive first: Donald Trump’s tax returns, or Dick Vitale meeting the Pope?

That’s exactly what Jon Gruden does. He just strings along several adverbs and adjectives without any nouns and expects us to figure it out. He’s a national treasure.

I started wearing those and now I can balance my work-life with my soul-crushing sadness!

Jon Gruden is basically the poor-man’s Madden and he’s on Monday, so let’s just double him up for Thursday too.

Which bear is best?

I’m from Charlotte: The Bobcats never left. Jordan won’t let them. You can take the Hornets out of Charlotte, but you can’t take the Bobcats out of the Hornets.

Wait, you’ll watch an entire Bobcats-Kings game?

To be fair, that was just a montage of Michael Phelps and Katie “the Human Flamethrower” Ledecky. So really, it’s 2 and counting.

Oh fuck that’s way better

Jeah-ghazi.

Incest is wincest.

Rock and steel typing is so easy (and important) to add to your team that it would nerf stealth rocks even more than it is now. Besides, it’s not that big of a deal: stealth rocks have typing, and if you come in with a fighting, ground, or steel type they do barely any damage. And if you’re not ice, fire, flying, or…

I dunno, I’m pretty sure at least Serbia likes us.

Wasn’t Symmetra already a Bond villain though? Didn’t she fuck over Brazil?