Duck! Incoming! :)

I still get a present every year from Santa, despite it being more than 20 years since I figured out the game. I kind of love it, just because Santa presents have had the exact same wrapping paper for as far back as I can remember—at some point in the distant past my dad bought a dozen or so rolls of it, and it…

Both my mum and dad’s families were very poor and so both desperately wanted to believe in him even though he never came for them as an escapism. My mum particularly used to help run her household and effectively took care of her younger sisters exclusively and so hoped that one day Father Christmas would reward her,…

That I can make myself straight.

It is

Aww, good luck MEE-chelle Norris!

Something to consider is that some people aren’t sexually active until later in life, and not everyone has multiple partners. Might dodge a bullet till you’re divorced at 40 and then—blam. No?

I watched it on an airplane during an overnight flight, on Xanax. It is the most perfect movie in the world to watch on a red-eye, on Xanax. When it’s over, you’re like “Wait, did I actually just watch a movie, or did I really fall asleep and have a weird, beautiful, thoroughly unsettling dream?”

So Caitlyn is uncomfortable with gay marriage, thinks government assistance for the poor is a terrible thing and is planning on voting for Trump, Cruz or one of the other fascist Republican clowns and now the man-in-a-dress comment. SHE. IS. THE. ABSOLUTE. WORST.

Disclosure: my cousin is one of the women that he is countersuing. I wonder what the thought process of his wife, who is his manager, was when she most likely ok'd this move? Something like, "let's take your horrifying acts and compound them with a huge dick-douche move", I imagine. Next he will be suing the…

Just over two years ago one of my best friends died two days post childbirth. According to her doctor there was complications. Her pregnancy was very difficult and they had to induce her almost nine weeks early. We were all worried about her during labor but she seemed okay. I was there at the hospital, I got to see…

DAMN. Are they still together?

On a side note, this is exactly why abortion needs to be legal. Women used to die from child birth all the time and people are forgetting that. It’s a major medical event. I hate when people make flippant remarks about “why can’t the woman just stick it out for nine months and let the baby be born?” Because its not…

It happens so much.

Gonna look weird when they both pretend to fall at the same time.

I couldn’t stand Mr. Strawberry Jones the first several times I met him.

When I was in college, there was someone who was assaulting women by using a fake siren to get them to pull over in abandoned areas. We were talking about it with a cop and someone mentioned how they would always wait until reaching a safe place before pulling over. Mr. Macho Cop said that if anyone "tried that" with…

Good luck. I’m not sure what I would do in a similar situation. I would probably try to be tactful at first, and say, “Well, a jury of his peers found him guilty...” And then move onto, “Listen, if he didn’t want to go to jail, he should have considered the consequences of his actions before he raped all those women.…

In most states, you can call *77 on your cell to get in contact with the highway patrol in the area. They should be able to relay your intention to the officer following you. Check on your state though, as some use other numbers. You should also turn on your hazards, use the right lane, and travel at normal speed.

How could they do this? Simple. It’s called the law. Something you were supposed to uphold, not break.