Wooo! Chris Evans helped Regina King up the stairs :D

Not to mention that fucking bizarre, Kermit the frog voice she put on!

OMG, I snorted out loud over this! I had a weirdly similar incident where someone nice, who knew me (my spouse and childs’ names) kept texting me and I was too embarrassed to say I didn’t know who it was. God, what a nightmare trying to keep the conversation totally neutral for MONTHS so I wouldn’t get busted! I…

Getting my dad to his surprise birthday party on time, JFC. My brother called him and said his car had broken down at the golf course (the birthday party venue). He said, “Call your mother, I’m out with your sister” and hung up.

Hate ages motherfuckers.

I’m the same age as the Columbine shooters (a year or two younger?). My little brother was in elementary school when it happened. To me at the time it felt like a “high school” problem, and not something little kids would even register. Years later, he told me that not only had it registered, it scared the shit out of…

I’m a high school teacher, and I’d like to emphasize that individual teachers are expected to use their own time and money to secure their classrooms in the event of a lockdown. Our school spent time practicing for a lockdown last year, and aside from the general psychological fuckeditude of the experience, we were…

Southern. Comfort. 

Your story about changing your mind is so stunningly similar to where I am in my life right now. I had never given a second thought to children, and been clear with my husband that they weren’t on my agenda. 15 years together, and there’s little to no further discussion on the matter, then he hits 40 and has a…

Oh heaven help us, do not get me started on the burden of Christmas on women, because we will end up with our hair on fire in a house full of bullet holes.

I feel like the best course of action would have been to get the damn knives and then a few months later at a dinner party, offer to help in the kitchen and when you see her using the knife set, get all huffy and say rather pointedly “Why are you using the baby’s knives?”

Tough question!!! Honestly, I had the pregnancy and labour from hell. When moms “bond through their birth stories” I always go last cause I know I will win in a competition that really really sucks. Woohoo!

I remember when my husband first saw our baby. He had been kind of skittish about the whole thing (so was I-we were really young). The nurse said something like “hey Dad, come and see your baby.” He immediately went over and said “hi baby”. Another second passed and he started crying and repeating “hi baby! hi baby!”.…

I would happily attend any puppy showers (and avoid baby showers) for the rest of my life!

Is is absolutely the most gorgeous thing!!!!!

If you see her at the next family funeral you should say, “when’s it going to be your turn?”  

I worked at a huge furniture company with a team of about 12 receptionists. There were a few older ladies and one had never been married and was already in her 50's so we knew she was never going to have children but she got an adorable white shitzu puppy. We decided to throw her a surprise puppy shower. Everything…

Also, as a two time Pissing Contest winner (brushes shoulders off), can I please be ungreyed. Thanks!

That sounds awful, but I’m glad everything turned out OK. This illustrates what a co-worker of mine, of Greek origin, once told me, that they don’t believe in baby showers before the baby is born in case something goes wrong. Makes sense.

Okay, this was not over the top, but I bet I can take the cake for most pathetic baby shower. My twins had just been born super early and in dire condition. They were the size of squirrels and ensconced in the NICU unable to breathe on their own, but my aunt insisted on going through with the shower she had planned. I…