Huh! No one ever said “Hey” to me. I’ve been monogamously married for a good while now, but not before that, either. I’ve only ever received wordless sounds, along the lines of “wooaaah”. I am going to choose to believe that is a compliment. Yes.

Why can’t they be more like us gay men? We just withdraw, clean up, nod and leave. No boring words like “hey”.