I’ve never commented before, but here we are...

I’ve taught for almost eight years, and I currently work in an amazing, well-funded and well-led suburban school. I also happen to work less than 30 minutes from Santa Fe HS, the site of the shooting in May.

I want to echo what my fellow teachers have said in these…

This article is offensive for a variety of reasons.

Our cows in Minnesota are far too polite to fart.

Well, I’m sure I am someone else’s Trimet horror story. I was carless and had to pick up my cat from the vet, so I packed him up in a little carrier and got on the 17 to go home. I thought nothing of it until I was halfway there, when I felt some weird ...WARMTH spreading across my lap. Turns out my cat, in his sad,…

On the train, I started to smell something foul. I glanced towards the back where there was a young woman changing a poopy diaper. Not the greatest situation, but I shrugged it off.

Holy shit. I’m not even going to bother to tell my story. Pack it up, everyone, this is the winner.

This seems like the perfect opportunity to share this picture, which has captivated me for the past few days:

I was sitting across from an older gentleman with a viking hat on who was eating dried rice from a bag. A rude adolescent at the time, I couldn’t help but watch him, mouth ajar, since we were sitting parallel. He looked me dead in the eye and spit a combination of rice and mucous across the row and into my mouth.

“you’reself” actually broke my brain. Bravo.

You just dived write in with that comment!

You shouldn’t let you’reself get hanged up on that.

Long live the elephant seals! They have earned that beach.

Nobody’s mentioned her anarchist baker in “Stranger Than Fiction”? A shocking lapse.

You forgot to mention his most important work, which is inspiring multiple very good Taylor Swift songs #AllTooWell

I am hoping with all my soul that this will be like American Idol for the finale episode and all these delightfully D- and C-list celebs sing a group number together, unmasked. Like a big, messy We Are The World, but just some terrible pop song with no cause. 

I get the impression that this is one of those shows you can appreciate completely only when you’re fully medicated.

*laughs in Spanish*

Mr. Washing is a diplomat at heart and handled the guest (and the situation) with far less violence than I would have but he did make everyone leave as quickly as he could, which was not easy as his sister was insisting the party continue. 

Yeah, Washing was terrified of a fight or any more drama. Mr. Washing shut it down as quickly as he could but a very serious series of conversations were had following this event and Mr. Washing had a lot of work to do. He has, I’m pleased to report, done said work and as a result is Washing’s champion now, as he…

My door is always locked, that’s for sure. I used to have a more fluctuating schedule but now that I work 9-5, it’s same old, same old except on weekends. I at least changed it so I’m not walking my dog in the dark in the morning anymore but it’s so routine the concierge makes comments when I’ve slept in or am home…