Anyone who accidentally shoots a person shouldn’t be a police officer.

A+ for use of the passive voice, Chicago police. “The police shot and killed a mentally ill teenager and an unrelated woman” sounds a lot worse than “the accidental discharging of the officer’s weapon, resulting in the fatal wounding of two individuals.” Man, I hate it when my weapon just spontaneously discharges,…

Seriously. I am so tired of this ruse.

I feel like as punishment we should just completely ignore Kylie when she does become engaged because there is nothing I hate more than someone who clearly eludes to something over and over again and then still demands the attention once that something actually happens.

Well, there ya go. It’s just not for you then.

My mom STILL gets mail to my Columbia House fake identity.

“If they made the whole plane out of the stuff they make the blackbox out of, what do you think would happen?” Wait, did Leto really say that? Is he really that dumb? The answer to his question is the plane would not fly.

My mom had to step in with my sister saying that she was a minor child (17 and still a minor at the time but mom said she was 10 to keep the conversation brief) who had come across the cards with fun stickers in the mail. Would they like mom to return the unopened CD’s? It was after all illegal to establish an account…

I remember when BMG started out, you could contact them if your delivery hadn’t arrived by a certain date, and they would send out a duplicate order. We used to place huge orders for lots of CDs and box sets, get two copies of everything, and then sell the second set to second-hand shops.

I’m pretty sure my circle of friends in college were responsible for a hefty chunk of Columbia House and BMG’s losses. So many imaginary friends to refer for the bonus CDs.

I think it’s largely that she’s losing the “baby fat” in her face. don’t throw rocks at me, she’s tiny as can be but the same thing happened to me. Around my eyes and cheek bones the fat kind of.... disappeared? and now I look quite different. I didn’t lose weight. it just moved away from my face. and really between…

At this point, Jennifer Lawrence is so over-exposed that I can’t watch a movie with her in it and suspend my disbelief. I’m more like, “And here’s Jennifer Lawrence selling mops. And here’s Jennifer Lawrence fighting a dystopian overlord. And here’s Jennifer Lawrence with a New Jersey accent.”

The pardon describes Downey’s “good conduct in the community of his residence since his release” and that the has “paid his debt to society.”

“Just loads of stuff coming in. I’ve also got a new boyfriend, George. ... George Glass.

I’d say she could she could pick a cheek and kiss it, but I already have one asshole down there. Two would be superfluous.

This video will haunt her for the rest of her life and rob her of any credibility. And I’m fine with that! ;-)

And her dear black people vid was especially charming. Complete with token black coon friend. Fuck this lady

It may have changed her life financially but at the cost of whatever shred of humanity she ever possessed.