I'm sure the cats act like this half the time and that the ladies are super used to it!

Everyone played it off with smiles, but watching that made me feel sick to my stomach. I have such a hard time watching any kind of live show because I get so nervous for the performers. So seeing these ladies struggling on stage is such an awful feeling. Good for them (And Colbert) for keeping it light though,…

Martin Amis might be among the least sexy men alive. I guess there’s no logic to lust.

I wonder if his pickup line was “trans women rape the existence of real women.”

Be happy he’s got his mouth closed here. Amis had a notoriously janky grill until he got them all swapped out for veneers some time back.

you are a unicorn in a world filled with stunted ponies.

“I just want my child to watch grown men get head trauma, and now i have to explain what dabbing means!!!!

Nope, I’m just too turned off by like, everything he has ever said or written to get it.

I didn’t have great answers for her, and honestly, in an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.

I didn’t have great answers for her, and honestly, in an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.

I have a very, very hard time imagining Martin Amis as having ‘Byronic magnetism’.

Sheen’s a confirmed serial batterer. Maybe you can’t hate him, but you could not make comments cooing over him.

Oh Catholic Church. Never stop being you.

I actually appreciate Kim’s honesty about pregnancy. It’s like.. the only thing I believe her about.

Maybe the Biebz just thinks Charlie Sheen is a dick (like the rest of us), regardless of status.

I’m guessing needles because I’m sure when he has been royally fucked up, he hasn’t been all, “Jeeves! Fetch me a fresh needle!”

I assume the migraine/thought he had a brain tumor thing means he had some sort of opportunistic infection that was causing his symptoms. If that’s the case, it means his immune system was pretty much shot by the time he was diagnosed. So maybe as long as a decade between infection and diagnosis?

“The emotional effects of his diagnosis may help explain some of his behavior over the past two years”

Hmmm. So there’s a delicate line to walk with this one. Um Pauley, I know life has dealt you a shitty attack and violation recently. You seem to be taking charge of how you are moving forward on your terms. I love that. But I cannot for the life of me endorse that thing you took two bites out of as being food for…

I’ve been looking for a new “fuck you” song so I hope this doesn't disappoint.