I don’t know what I’m thinking but here you go:

You Sir must buy an MV-1

Your choices of cars make no goddamn sense. How can you go from a C30 to a Crown Vic to an Expedition, do you buy cars by hitting random pages in a catalog?

Have you considered maybe not owning Fords?

How exactly did you calculate future prices?

Gas is going up again? Guess I’d better head on down to Ford and buy a Foc- wait, what? They stopped what now? Really? Now why on earth would they- Oh? But.. but what doesn’t make any sense. They had to have known! They had to!

The sticker tells you all you need to know.

Lol...how will I save for my 911 without all those sweet, sweet crossover deals?

out of sheer jalopism you should refuse to help anyone buy a crossover ever.

My brother-in-law is on his third. He also wears shoes with Velcro.

You’ve never had a conversation while driving?

You’re correct.

I thought it was using Uber’s tech bolted to a Volvo rather than Volvo’s own propriety tech?

Can you imagine a car company doing something like that today? Circumventing a bad review by just... going to geographical places where that review would most likely to hold the least amount of weight?

I would honestly trust any cheap crapcan wrenched by David Tracy over most any car I see on the road down here in FL. But, that’s Florida....

David Tracy lives in Michigan. State inspection, hahaha.

I can’t wait for Jalopnik’s own $700 self-driving Jeep Wagoneer!

Volvo’s probably pretty pissed too - from what I’ve seen of Volvo’s pedestrian detection and automatic emergency braking, it may very well have done better than Uber’s system in avoiding this tragedy.

No

Die bitch.