Whatever you say.

Yep, this is Kotaku alright.

With a(n almost) world-wide game to worry about, I assure you Niantic doesn’t give the tiniest squirt about you fucks in Canada.

Your definition of massive fuck up needs A LOT of work. One letter? Are you fucking retarded?

Your character isn’t you, you fucking ‘tard.

Not salty at all. Do enjoy calling out stupid people on the dumbass shit they say though.

Yes. In a world with 7 billion people, you’re the only snowflake that had that thought.

So you just can’t read huh? You. get. one. fucking. pokemon. per. area.

Read the fucking article you unbelievable fucking dipshit.

Except for those that do. Get the fuck over yourself, douchenozzle.

HEY EVERYBODY ILLDOTHISLATER GOT HIS FIRST PERIOD AND WANTED TO SHARE THE NEWS.

Not sure what Eve has to do with anything, but pretty sure she was supposed to be human.

This is a gossip blog, you utter and complete retard.

Years ago, you fucking retard. Where the fuck have you been?

“Other trainers will go on to beat the Elite 4, but I am content to have my own Pikachu. And she’s never going to leave me”

“the sparrow’s”

Once again, your identification of emotions sucks balls.

Backpedal faster there, you might make it... Oh, so close.

“Ultimately… this is a stupid post and nothing within it actually happened in any way whatsoever.”

No they weren’t.