They just got done fighting a fire at a marijuana dispensary.

This has “hold my beer” written all over it.

She’s catshit crazy.

Imagine Dragons, Radioactive.

This list of cars is so bad it’ll make you want to punch yourself in the face.

I’ve known him since I discovered him in this commercial.

Apparently you’ve never heard of the masterpiece known as Entourage.

Go Fuck Yourself

Wow, not only did you miss the joke, you’re a dickhead. Dismissed.

Just give me some snarling American muscle and a quarter mile.

I’ll give them quickest sedan. They need to dial back the hyperboles a bit before I literally throw myself off a cliff.

Tailpipes can be re-purposed as fleshlight holders.

So close, yet so far.

Given his list of requirements, I have revised my answer. This is much more suitable for said driver.

I read that as it must be a Mercedes.

You just got Jalop’d and screwed.

That light you see, it’s just my muzzle flash.

It would cost me hundreds in extra purchases of Plan B though.

It’s the gravity downforce of 1 ton brass balls.