The #Cubs are the first team to alternate pitchers between the mound and the field since the #Mets did it on July 22, 1986.

That’s what I tell my wife when I’m sliding around in the snow :D

You think a guy who wants a long term contract with the Jets gives a damn about winning.

Tricks are what a whore does for money.

“Spades is a trick-taking card game devised in the United States in the 1930s. It can be played as either a partnership or solo/”cutthroat” game. The object is to take at least the number of tricks (also known as “books”) that were bid before play of the hand began.”

You forgot to mention whether this news will impact the Knicks’ decision.

Since it’s PA, I’m surprised he didn’t get another year on his sentence for not buying the beer on the second Tuesday of the month between 12:30-4:15pm from a licensed beer distributor in a 24 or 96 pack.

Just the fact that he made it this far makes him way more successful than J.J. Redick’s last kid.

Crosby ISO cam view of the play being drawn up:

“I did not have sexual relations with that girl”
“I should spend tens of millions of dollars investigating this and try to get this man impeached!”
-Ken Starr 1997

“Did I rape her? I mean...”
“Good enough for me!”
-Ken Starr 2016

Pro tip: store your spare shower beer in the top tank of your toilet to keep it cooler than room temp. You are right though, warm beer is better than no beer.

Once again, a black man discovers the Blues, but it’s white guys who make money off them.

Drake LaRoche, is that you? I know you think you’re impressing everyone with your historical and mathematical wizardry, but you need to get yourself into real school.

Counterpoint-

Ahh, the Hershey squirts of hot taeks.

“No one at ESPN wants Rovell beheaded in Times Square, but many were angry he still gets paid to rephrase #brand #content.”

Not the first time.

Okay, a waste of everyone else’s time by authority figures that CAN DO NO WRONG despite not having stopped any actual actual terrorist attacks ever?

I could only wish Canada had something resembling the natural beauty of Provence.

Statue of Mohammed would cause a much bigger shitstorm, especially as Islam has a prohibition on making images of him.