Judges would have also accepted:

Yeah, I was thinking something somewhat similar as a workaround to the one main sticking point for the X-Men’s entry into the MCU.

“I wish that I could make a movie about the New Mutants, come hell or high water!”

Yeah, it just occurred to me last night that I still hadn’t even seen my stimulus check yet. I mean, fortunately I am still working (have to go into the office, though), so I didn’t need to receive it, but that should have showed up by now. I don’t even know who I’m supposed to complain to about that.

Once in third grade, my father off-handedly mentioned that under the Constitution, we didn’t actually have to stand up and do the Pledge of Allegiance. So me being the third grade dink that I was, the next day I stayed seated for the Pledge at my local private school, and was promptly sent to the pastor and the…

. . . Be sure to tell your mom that she is ace.

Yeah, the only quibble I’d have is that false imprisonment is usually a tort rather than a crime, though of course IANAL licensed in the state of Georgia, so I couldn’t say for sure.

McConnell has already said that he intends to ignore that “rule” with respect to any opening on the court in the next term.

Point of order: without attempting to slut shame in any way, no one who has any kind of anxiety about disease transmission has unprotected sex with a porn star they just met. I’ll be the first to say that porn stars are people too, and they deserve to have a sex life outside of their job. But they also understand,…

If you haven’t read it already, I would strongly recommend Adam Serwer’s article on the topic in The Atlantic. It’s a master class in writing on the subject.

No, it didn’t. I doubt Mitch McConnell has played a video game in his entire life.

No young pup, Im an adult. I am far from a corporations mindset. I am not conservative and I am not a liberal. I am somewhere in the middle, I do not have representation in this current political climate.

Meanwhile, they have nothing to say about Sen. Mitch McConnell’s entry into the online version of Street Fighter II, where he played for 10 minutes as Dhalsim, where he backed into a corner and spammed weak-punch, before a loss to a character playing Ryu resulted in McConnell demanding to be allowed to play as Sagat…

Yup. When it comes to turning off my real-world concerns and just immersing my brain in a game, there’s nothing better than just cranking up the epic music and/or Max Von Sydow speech, and going off to explore a cave in a far corner of Tamriel.

Fair enough. It is not my intent to mock anyone’s religious beliefs, or to demand you break them for my shallow and pedantic aims.

Oh, well that’s helpful. We were so screwed before, but now we have thoughts and prayers to protect us.

Yeah, “herd immunity” exists when 70-80% of a population is immune to a contagion, which allows that immune population to prevent exposure of the contagion to an otherwise unprotected person.

Have you ever seen these giant hornets go about their business? Because I have, and I have to imagine that those hornets taste like justice:

I’m uncertain. I distinctly remember the number being 25-30%, I remember that number coming in the last 3 days, 4 days at the outset, and I remember it being in either NY Magazine or Vox. NY Magazine was the more likely of the two. But I was unable to find the source myself.

The strongest argument in favor of the conspiracy theory that COVID-19 was cooked up in a bioweapons lab is how it is practically designed to target the very same logical flaws and psychological defense mechanisms that Fox News targets every day. You’ve got your whataboutism (“Well, the flu kills 37,000 people a year”…