Welcome to Deadspin Jordan. Just a word to the wise, careful writing negative articles about the Seahawks. Their football illiterate fan base has a tendency to sue or start change.gov petitions in response criticism or rational negative thoughts about their defense.

This should help. Kids love pictures!

Maybe if those kids got jobs they wouldn’t be so poor.

“If we can’t get 750, we respectfully thank you but we’re going to move on.”

“The Giants won, but under the circumstances, it had to feel like a pretty goddamn terrible win.”

As a Giants fan who’s been watching and listening to them flounder since All-Star break: No, not really. I think we’re all a bit bummed, but aren’t going to complain about a shutout win.

How dumb do you have to be to fight a Diaz brother?

I think we should be more worried about this 4th swimmer who is attempting to swim all the way home

How could the combination of the Olympics and boxing not be above board? I am so shocked by these allegations I might just have to use an exclamation point to express my outrage.

LAWYER: You can never go back to Brazil.
Lochte: Man, but I really enjoyed Europe!

KD seems to be a big swimming fan! He was going nuts when Phelps and Co won the 4x100m.

Summer Olympic Gold Medals since 1896 (all sports):

I am certain that he let up in the semifinal with the aim of being in the next lane to le Clos in the final, thus making the revenge that much sweeter.

I, for one, welcome tiny women dunkers.

To celebrate, everyone in the green pool!!!

I know this is sacriligious here, but I rooted for Jim Tomsula because he worked his ass off and took shit for years only to be put in the worst possible position. He’s the anti-Lane Kiffin and I respect all of those shitty odd jobs he had to work.

All pilots are trained not with flight simulators but by listening to Pink Floyd and Tom Petty’s “Learning to Fly”

For a player some had written off entirely, it’s pretty cool. He just turned 21, and actually has a chance to play a role (even a small one) for one of the biggest clubs in the world. And I think the level of competition in the ICC, even though they’re exhibitions, are at least at the level of an average MLS game, if…

This is always a problem at baseball games for some reason. Oh braves and Marlins are playing better get my Cubs hat and jersey. No you annoying douche stay home.

Not anymore, Amare just announced his retirement.

And most importantly, you get to be self righteous in comment threads about engagement rings. And who can put a price on that?