Seriously. The fact that someone would pay money to go to a show and then heckle is just…. what? There was a story a couple weeks ago about someone shouting "fat bitch" at Britney Spears during her Vegas show. Those are, like, $150 tickets. Why.

The only sequel to John Wick I'd want to see would be one that takes place in that universe but doesn't involve John Wick. I could have watched a whole movie about that hotel or Ian McShane's hitman nightclub.

NATM was the year after Scary Movie but the same year as Scary Movie 2 (2001). Interestingly, NATM was probably the last gasp of the parody genre, and Scary Movie 2 represented the dark and horrible path the genre was heading down.

I liked this because it points out how strong Coppola is at visuals and marrying music to image, and avoids making the main criticism of her work, which is that holy shit does she need a better screenwriter. Every movie she's made post-LiT feels like a 30-minute short stretched to feature length. She's probably my…

I always look forward to a Baumbach movie, even though I was one of the few who hated Frances Ha. He's the only director who's made a movie that made me throw up.

One of my exes, with whom I had one of those tumultuous early relationships with really high highs and really low lows that taught me a lot about what I want from a partner, looks and sounds exactly like John Legend. I think Legend's talented, but listening to him/seeing him brings back a rush of mixed feelings.

Went to college in Illinois from 2006-2010 and visited several other colleges during that time, can confirm that red Solo cups are ubiquitous.

My favorite instance of roast censorship that made air was in the Pamela Anderson one. At one point, Lisa Lampinelli said of Courtney Love, "She would suck a dick for a Diet Coke," and they bleeped out Coke. Cracked me up that someone at Coke thought having their product mentioned during a roast would be bad for…

Lady in the Water is a prime example of a movie that was a couple drafts and a couple creative decisions away from being a very-good-maybe-great movie. All the pieces are there, behind the film critic character and expository Asians and M. Night the Prophet character.

I always wonder what changed. I know people grow up and wants and needs shift and whatnot, but I dunno, it seems weird for someone who has a lot of bits that are hardline anti-having kids to suddenly do a 180.

Note to Patton: More of this, less stories about your daughter. The former is why we like you. The latter is you falling into the "funny, but who cares" trap you outlined in the Toronto open mic bit.

She mentioned in an interview for this album that she had "one more pop album on her contract" (i.e. this one), she's dabbled in country and rock on other albums, and said she might want to do a Broadway album someday.

You guys didn't do it, obviously, but it never ceases to amaze me when entertainment websites will have a headline like "Here's how suchandsuch movie/TV show got a super famous actor to play a role," ostensibly under the guise of avoiding spoilers, and then they put a picture of the actor as the header image.

One of my favorites, Urinetown. I wouldn't say it's unfilmable, but the fourth wall breaking and self-reflexivity probably wouldn't translate well, and most of the first half takes place in one location. And there's no way a major studio wouldn't change the ending.

So what's the most egregious hatchet job everyone can recall seeing?

He went to the same college as me a few years before me, so if I ever meet him, I have the perfect icebreaker AND the perfect conversation killer ("I haven't enjoyed a single one of your movies").

Someone on Twitter said that Taylor needs to date, like, a scuzzy overweight neckbeard college student who's into video games and majoring in English. It's not so much that she writes about her love life so much as her pattern of choosing guys is "if this was a movie you wouldn't believe it" predictable.

This was shot in early 2012, and you know nothing bodes better for a movie than the fact that it sat on the shelf for three years.

Eh, they'll keep making them whether I see them or not (there's always teenagers), and I usually rent them at the Redbox after leaving the bar on Saturday, so I already got my fill of bad choices in.

My three step thought process for every remake: