Eclairs come in little garbage cans. Paella, lobster scrambled eggs, snickers & donuts you eat with a knife and fork, marble rye, tuna is actually chicken salad, big salads and finally NO soup on the menu. Hennigans, Snapple and coffee only beverages served. Specials include muffin top Sat night, just for models and…

This is one to live by

*incoherent rage noise*

And Only A I’m-Not-Like-All-Those-Other-Girls Girl Can Save Us All!

More than I. I had to look up FTW. I thought it was "What the Fu*%?" backwards or something.

You neglected to mention how he secretly installed Windows Vista into everyones computer. Method as fuck

When I started reading this story I was on the toilet, but I found it so raw and edgy that I fell off the toilet and shit myself. Then, laying on the floor in a puddle of Christmas shit, I took a selfie. I then made that shit selfie the wallpaper on my phone and computer. Cuz I'm twisted and dark, just like Jared Leto.

I have a gut feeling that it will be so tryhard-y and cringy that nobody will take it seriously and this movie will bomb, hard.

I think that makes you normal. I'm now the pathetic mum of older kids who will grab a crying baby in what might look like a giving-parents-a-break move, but actually it's a desperately-pretending-it's-mine move. Give me all the sobbing babies.

Meh. I like my interpretation better.

Who is to say this is the only thing he does for them?

know what would really be cool though