I like how old people are so sure of their opinions. I can’t wait to get older and not give a shit about how wrong I am.

We are thinking of the children, we are teaching them to respect other creatures.

“My mother bought me a knife for Christmas. How can I use this knife to protect my oatmeal?”

yea that place is ok

Disgusting.

Is it better to use a huge bowl and a very small spoon or a small bowl and spoon that is so large it can barely fit into the bowl?

Step one: DON’T PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE, YOU DRIVELING HEATHEN.

Ugh, I totally hate where my spleen is. If I could just move it up a bit, I’d be totally hot.

I’m so confused. The headline is about the restraining order against gross Chris Brown but the article is about when she was arrested at his house and their different stories on that; there’s nothing about the online threats, like telling us about how that went down. Am I missing that? I am a little high. What were…

Haven't North Koreans suffered enough?

I’m on spring break, so no.

Everything has to start somewhere.

All roads lead to Kardashians

kanye told us to

That poor cat.

?? All saints had *one* hit, spice girls had 3 albums fill of them. Plus everyone can name at least two spice girls.

Weird. Weave ripping in the bathroom is the only violence I condone. (I’m looking at you, Candace. You know what you did.)

Huh. And I had heard such good things about mashed onion.

What does any of this have to do with a date? They weren’t on a date. She is a professional journalist interviewing a musician so this seems off topic.