Holy Hell. More like Meltin’ Adelson.

Holy shit this is a good idea!

I knew I shouldn’t have stapled all of that haunted bologna to that Bible and taught it how to speak. I am sorry everyone.

I hope someday to find one thing as funny as Jimmy Fallon finds everything.

What an idiot. If he didn’t want to forget, why did he put it on his back?

I mean, where do you even start with this?

I can honestly say this is the first bit of news about the new TG that has made me actually interested in the new TG.

Holy shit, awful! My three-year-old does better than that and he’s terrible. I’m always like “there are kids your age in Pakistan making soccer balls and you can’t fingerpaint a fucking cloud?”

Boom.

Well, those NCAA ads did say most of their athletes went pro in something besides sports.

Eventually, Michael Vick would also have run a 0 Dog Enterprise.

Yeah i’m not holding my breath for autonomous machines being given the ability to make kill commands themselves, even if the tech existed. We don’t even let human fighter pilots do that most of the time right now...

They are very, very careful lunatics who pay a lot of close attention to hundreds of details. This stuff will kill you the first time you’re sloppy. Thank you for posting this testament to humanity.

Chris Christie clearing his colon?

You can drink an entire six pack before you even know what’s happened.

Top 12 comment all time. I’d send you an award, but it would probably fall in the river I tried to fjord.

I was going to fact check your assertion about the use of children’s marrow to sweeten root beer, but I died of dysentery before I could finish.