See Disco, the Parakeet.

Interesting. I'm certain this is the same plant I've been in love with for years. It grows EVERYWHERE in Arizona and is lovely. Off to start collecting seeds as a good witch will do.

God, that's perfect.

I suppose it could be called crazy to not believe in the 'crazy'. I don't believe in shit and I consistently get the "WUT?!" face when I say that.

I am on the board and volunteer at a guinea pig rescue. Most popular names of surrendered pigs? Oreo, Snickers, and Cupcake. Brownie is right up there, as is George. Best name ever? My own first-pig, Willoughby Meepit Blackfoot (insertmylastname). Yes, that's a Neopets reference in there. Willoughby (Bean) is…

There's a whole house payment lying out there.

Oh, and I forgot the time my new boyfriend was standing in the kitchen in his boxers, all casual like. We had been going out for a couple months and he'd just started to stay over night. He was just there, and let out what he thought was a fart, but no. A little poop plopped right on the floor! It was a great…

As a sufferer of IBS, EVERY shit has a story. They are unpredictable and usually epic. In the past 6 months, I have exploded at work and had to use the boss' private privy to rinse my underthings and clean myself up, run amok to the john on numerous occasions, and shart in bed (or elsewhere) when I thought it was a…

Please don't. Bunnies are very long lived and require a LOT of care. They are basically toddlers. They can do extraordinary damage to your home if left unsupervised. They can bite, can kick, and can be quite aggressive. That being said, they are EXTRAORDINARY pets. They do shed, and they can smell if they are…

I'd like to imagine that if I ever were at Cannes, I'd dress much like this. Go big or go home, I say. Ya got one shot to make an impact!

No person of this generation is EVER allowed to laugh at fashion from the early 80's again. NEVER.

Meet Brie. Adopted from the ASPCA here in Arizona in January. I hadn't intended or thought of getting a cat, but wandered past a window in the pet supply store and saw this darling cat-butt. I thought about it overnight, went back the next day, and she came home. She is mine and I am hers. And oh.. as to the…

I'll be dead, so I'm pretty sure I won't care should I be draped naked over the bathtub with head trauma. This is why I have a cat. Once the cat reaches the parts it can't/won't eat, she'll whine so loudly someone will come bag up what remains of me just to shut her up.

I refuse to lug my purse or bag to the restroom every month. If someone cannot handle me carrying a damn tampon in my hand, and knowing that I am a female human being of child bearing age, they can go straight to hell. I refuse to be ashamed of my body on this level. I also fart, burp, and sometimes even shart. …

I heard that in Oleg's voice.

I want it too! I actually do Guinea Pig rescue, have seven of my own, and would find that the most fascinating thing on earth.

I want to sit at this table.

I got 404 my last race. No one could find me.

Yes, I do see 20 year old asses in thongs all the time. Happened the other day at work in the parking lot during a gust of wind. Not a single attempt to even try to push the skirt back down. Just...ass. It's boring. It only makes me angry because, between the 'pants on the ground', and the 'no pants' folks, these…

I imagine barley punk to be boring. Like barley on its own. And like attempts at being edgy. If you have to try, you're not.