I remember reading an interview with Vanessa Williams awhile back and she said she gets her haird done at the JCP Salon. I don't know if she still does, but I started going after I read that. They really have some high-end stylists working there! From cut to color to perms.

My wife's favorite stylist is in a JCP Salon. I think it's one of those things that most people either don't know exists or dismiss because of snobbery.

I'll see your 'tall person', and raise you 'the asshole who is recording the show with his fucking iPhone'

The vendors do have a use. I had patients in need of wheelchairs, and the electric chair vendors were the only one that could navigate the approval process for it on Medicare and Medicaid, plus other insurance company weasels. I'd literally tell the vendor if they could do up the paperwork, I'd sign it, because there…

This entire system is fucked up, both public and private. And don't even try to be the patient trying to get information/what you want.

I'm so done with you...I can't even... *dies of laughter*

Alternatively, it could be replaced with the flock of mothers that appear out of nowhere every time I've gone out into the sun for the past 20 years. Moms will never not fuss over my "pretty Irish skin." Thanks, random mothers, I am old enough to put sunscreen on myself now.

I got sunburned in January once*. It was in Las Vegas though so maybe it doesn't count.

This redhead wants to know if you can personalize the program.

HEY! Do you go around telling kids there's no Santa Claus too?

Everything comes to Olive Garden pre-made from the distributor. They nuke it and plate it. Cheesecake Factory actually cooks food on site, though.

On a business trip recently, to the amusement of my colleague, I decided to have 2 glasses of wine, a bowl of lentil soup, and a giant slice of chocolate cake for dinner. Really, I was saving the company money!

Yes. I made the mistake of ordering pizza there (/eating there at all) and this was the most atrocious circle of garbage EVER. It literally tasted, bite for bite, like those half-baked pizzas you'd find at elementary school cafeterias. With soft mushy bread that tasted like it wasn't cooked and those big,…

I remember one time at a team dinner when I came to the startling realization that my "homemade" frozen ravioli were better than Olive Garden's ravioli.

That looks a lot like the monstrous slice of cake you can get at Claim Jumper, which is another restaurant in the genre that this article talks about. If you get a slice to go, they present it to you in a box that's literally the size of a shoebox. It's nuts.

Who wants to meet me at Patrick O'Depression's Neighborhood Despair Hoedown for a drink later?

That, and Eddie Murphy was at the top of his game when that movie was made. Plot, schmot. I will watch 80s Eddie Murphy ALL DAMN DAY.

That was actually just played at my friend's wedding. Along with their What Would You Do? cover.

Reminds me of the time I bought a bottle of champagne and a can of cat food at my CVS and the cashier asked me if my cat and I were celebrating something special tonight.