This is nothing. The first time I got more than 50 'recommends' on a Jezebel comment, I made LoniManderson put an add in Variety seeking some assistants to help me in my daily commenting tasks. It was called 'MINIONS TO WALLOW AT MY FEET' and specified that I need two, 'robust, sprite young fellows' to 'compile a…

I don't see the big deal. I had children so I too could have unpaid assistants. Since we don't have much rain here my umbrella technician is my wine fetcher. It's not fair you have to be famous to have minions.

She had the small town syndrome. Everyone's parents got married right out of high school at 18, so I guess planning her life that far ahead seemed logical to her I suppose. I suppose my fresh genetic material in the gene pool put a kink in her plans and she went on a "love isn't real it's all about PHEROMONES and…

You scarily sound almost exactly like someone I went to high school with who never forgave me for dating the boy she's been convinced she would marry since grade school. Except I wasn't really the new girl in the year it took him to work up the courage to confess his feelings and she was much bustier than I was. And…

I do. That's a feeling that steadily decreases as you get older. It's a pity.

Not to say women don't do this, but so do men. Love them, but really don't like the idea strongly conveyed that women do this and men don't.

This will probably be identified by anyone who knew me in high school, but I will change names to protect the innocent.

I had a guy like that! I never did his homework for him, but I'd help him out. I think he must've been trying to hint that I should do his homework for him, because he finally resorted to flat out just asking me to do an assignment and he would sign his name to it. I hated him and felt like such a fool for having…

Single malt scotch is a 50-something college professor at a small liberal arts college. He wears a well-worn tweed jacket with faux suede patches on the elbows over nearly threadbare Levis every day of the week. He has a pipe on his desk but you've never seen him smoke it. His conversation drips with complicated…

I always feel like the Evil Stepmother in Cinderella never gets enough love when we talk about Disney villains. She was the scariest to me, maybe because she didn't have any supernatural powers. She was just. . .evil.

I put this right up there with litterbox cake.

Lauren is a bad influence.

Augustine of Hippo would concur: "To Carthage then I came, burning, burning."

We actually discussed in class yesterday how pyromania can often involve sex. Burning things is a means of relieving sexual tension in young women. >.<

"14 Felonies that Will Drive Your Man Wild" - Next month's Cosmo. I don't want to spoil it, but number 1 is Vehicular Homicide

Arson is Hot! Hot! Hot!

"Ignite Your Passion!"

I made banana blueberry pancakes, which I've never done before - on a Thursday, even! But my excuse was that some yacht race was on in San Francisco.

If you say that shit three times, an Elements of Style appears out of nowhere and beats your ass.

awww, I wish I had "whit." I'll just have to settle for charm, incredible talent, and an ability to spell and use the Oxford comma.