Goodbye waxed Apollo's belt flaunting white boys. The mall shall be even blander without you.

You get the idea.

My teeth ache just thinking about this.

My group of girlfriends would take the round table at the library, grab a romance with a good cover off the spinning wire rack and pass it around after skimming for the 'good parts'. There was a lot of giggling.

My mother had a subscription to the Zebra books and she stored them out in the back shed. Imagine her delight when I discovered this treasure trove and moved them all into our playhouse, because we needed a library. I organized them by the pictures on the cover, Pirates and Lords on one shelf, weirdo covers on the…

Congratulations on the one year anniversary and Pinkham's Law. You've been a delight, so far. :)

YES! Petite beeyatches unite!

All my outfits have to look lovely covered with a white lab coat.

Ew. GAP.

Funny, I still like the stuff I find at the outlets better. Usually they're not all in the same putrid shade of greige or odd yellow that dominate the mall collections. If you find a brand that uses a fit model that fits you, you stick with it. And the LOFT fit model has a rack that accommodates my boobage. And I…

I just save up for my annual trip to the outlet mall stores. LOFT at Target prices? Sign me up! Mall shopping makes my eye twitch.

Sir, I have to inform you that your game has taken over my husband's and my son's life.

THIS IS SO FUCKING TRUE.

See, I was told that I couldn't have children. So I was fine with that.

I blame the mid 90's hyper HIV awareness for my lack of getting super freaky in college.

Exactly. I'm a huge flirt and tease online and part of that is bringing back all that new energy and vigorously applying it to my husband of 20 years. He's aware of my harem and rolls his eyes a bit, but there's no complaining about the side benefits.

Monogamous in person. Promiscuous on the internet. I belong to the school of no-touchy touchy no foul.

I'm gonna go with a NOPE on that one. But it was a super cute good try. ;)

yes. Fuck you Jimmy.