Half price day after the holiday candy is one of life's best pleasures.

You need red lips and some rhinestone clip ons darling. Maybe some wee heeled slippers with marabou poofs on the toes.

The beading is so luxe. As an embroiderer/embellisher I know how long those take to do by hand. So glorious.

I need more formal bathrobes in my life. And smoking jackets. And peignoirs.

Write the essay then have your partner correct it in red pen. Instant winner!

Nice form. Maybe that booty is an optical illusion though.

As the Winter Olympic Games get underway in Sochi, Russia, the International Olympic Committee has begun its usual practice of dispersing 100,000 condoms to competitors staying in Olympic Village.

See, that was smart and totally an innocent coincidence, right?

I think we celebrated with a high-five last year as we passed each other in the hallway.

I can't remember my exact wedding date. It is some time in July, vaguely... It was nearly two decades ago, so I suppose I've got early onset wedding Alzheimers.

I think flappage would sound something like this.

"Look at the lift on Johann Eisenheimer's scrotum! He's going to get a good 50 foot bonus!"

That would be some major wind resistance. Can you imagine the flappage?

HE IS A DELICATE FLOWER!

I hope that his back doesn't keep him out of competition. He's delightful to watch.

He was in my drawing class, he looked like Grunge Jesus and one day the class went drawing in the local cemetery. I wore a red sundress and leaned over his shoulder, resting my breasts against his back and asked innocently, "What are you drawing?"

Tights.

He's married and Evangelical. Apparently. Who knows really?

Loved that man. Such power and grace. Sadly snubbed.

Those are my favorite moments, when someone rises up and shines on the world stage and just takes it. He was super cute with his Dorothy Hamill hair.