Happy Friday, and remember: if it ain’t a Type R, it ain’t a tight car.

::nods::

Lamborghini is keeping that arm for now. She knows what she did.

I’m starting to feel like some sort of maniacal preacher, but have you looked at the Fiesta ST? 

Yeah yeah. But we did hold your beer while you elected Trump. So...

I’d kinda kill for a huge increase in oil prices. I know it would hit many financially, but the less trucks and SUV’s that I see the better.

It isn’t racing season for two more weeks.

If somebody crushed my ‘66 Charger, after I spent 2-1/2 years bringing it back from the dead, I’d unapologetically lose my shit.

If your peers are impressed by a 2017 CRV. Shove your Peers in your CRV and drive it off a Pier while eating Pears.

Usually it is required upon purchase of a home

“No HOA” was one of the absolutely essential parts of my home search a few years back, both as an auto enthusiast and as a musician.

Keep engineering cars to combat stupid, you’re just engineering the next level of stupid.

Why write it? Because far too many outlets are just giving Alfa a pass on sub-par quality control “Because Alfa” when in fact very few of the auto-journos that actually buy new cars will plop down their hard earned cash for a new Alfa. Meanwhile, real consumers, with real money to spend, who are interested in the…

Because most car buyers aren’t known for their rational decisions.

If we’re naming it, it definitely looks like an IUD. Less so on Ferrari’s since it’s attached to the wing, but the Mercedes one is absolutely one big intrauterine device sticking up from the middle of the back of the car.

That’s the one you pick?

What, you expected me to READ the article? This is still Jalopnik, right?

Years ago, in college, I sold my Ford Escort for $450. At least, that’s what the buyer and I agreed on. Turns out, he only gave me $400. I was young and dumb and trusting. Never counted it. I chalked it up as a life lesson and went on with my life.