Good luck to you however you choose to proceed. My wife ended up with a C-section after 3 hours of labor with our first kid, and my job for the second kid is to support her with whatever decision she makes, when the time comes.

Makes some sense. After all, most people’s firsts are disappointing experiences with no hope of a satisfying finish.

“What kind of things do you like me to do with you body?” Jeb said as I looked over the contract. “Do you like it when I keep it from healthcare?” Oh my. My inner goddess screams YES but I blush.

Rob and Blac are starting to give me a Sid and Nancy 2016 vibe. Calablahsas Style.

Meh. Alanis also dated Dave Coulier so how cool could she be?

I am now officially one of “the olds” because not one damn sentence in this article makes a damn lick of sense to me.

I am so totally bulge-blind. I never noticed it until people pointed it out to me.

Hey, the Academy is at least admitting that science fiction is a legitimate genre. I’m pulling so damn hard for Mad Max and The Martian.

You totally have the giant party fork prop covered.

fire ant murder spree, downhill Sit ‘n’ Spin race, touch football match using live armadillos.

Bo handles the peeing on priceless historical artifacts stuff, while Sunny is mostly in charge of sniffing tourists’ crotches. Joe Biden still does all of the work in the “inappropriate jumping on strangers” department, though. It’s a labor of love for him.

Am I missing something here?

And people wonder why my name is a thing.

Mine is when the poop gets stuck to their ass and I have to remove it while they freak out.

I wonder if it’s the same one I do with my dogs? The one where they poop on the ground and then you pick it up with the green bag while they try to pull you in the opposite direction?

Amen, sister. Almost 32 and still baby-free, thanks to my fear of penises as a teenager, and a free supply of slut pills as an adult. THANKS OBAMA.

I love Chobani. Haters to the left.

And also Stands With a Fist in Dances With Wolves.

Christianity wouldn’t become the largest religion, if it didn’t have something to appeal to everyone. So if you wanna feed the poor, you can find support in the bible, but if you want to ponder whether or not a woman raped outside city walls screamed loud enough to avoid stoning, you can also find reasons to do that.