wellbutrinismyfriendmidnightburner
WellbutrinIsMyFriend'sMidnightBurner#1
wellbutrinismyfriendmidnightburner

Me, reading this:

You know, they didn’t get a horse to direct Seabiscuit!

Lamar did pay with his credit card. Dennis Hof is worried about someone disputing the charges, and so he’s shooting his mouth off. What a dickbag.

Some of us were alive and entering teenhood in 1977. I had that striped cowl-neck sweater in the second picture. I may have had more than one, in different colours. Everyone had one.

Hi, father of 4 here just chiming in to confirm the super creepiness of the tweet in question.

A) Why does Bieber always have an “I just pooped in my pants” look on his face

Yo I am late to this Dirt Bag but how has no one talked about Sean Penn and Amy Schumer yet?! Worse yet they were at a Madonna concert! Wtf! (Sorry for all the exclamation marks but I have very strong negative feelings about this topic)

“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”

I’m a straight woman and I still enjoy seeing a nice pair of breasts.

Its not a bug, its a lizard.

You can’t be serious, can you? I have never and would never pee in a sink unless I were imprisoned or something.

It is going progressively worse, though. I mean, Black Crowes to Muse to Jonas Brothers. If she keeps this up, she will have to date Diplo next.

As a lady with a very large pint glass collection that has been acquired over the years in very murky circumstances, I am #TeamGiselle here. Sometimes the best way to get away with it is to just brazenly walk out. If someone stops you, you can be all “OH GOSH MY MISTAKE” but if nobody’s stopping you, then get on with

Women wanted eight more minutes of foreplay and seven more minutes of intercourse

Yoko, is back?

Nono, he’ll “LET HER” finish later. Isn’t he just so kind. to allow her that?

Only if it’s kept in a monogrammed thermos.

Huh. I drink day-old coffee that’s been sitting in my French press overnight on my kitchen counter. It’s fine.

But they didn’t fly nonstop. The couple allegedly landed in Las Vegas for a little thing I like to call...a layover.

The saddest thing is a leading presidential candidate grinning like a moron in a selfie with a Kardashian.