I was 6 when it came out and I’ve watched both of those movies a ton, I give it to Jack because, today as a grownup, I don’t get exhausted watching him play the character.

I dunno, on one hand I’m thinking this looks like it might be really good.

As well you should.

I don’t mean to be all too-cool-for-school about this, but is anything with this movie really a spolier? I mean like really? Don’t we all have a pretty clear idea, in broad strokes at least, of where this whole thing is going to wind up?

When you listen to this guy talk, it’s obvious he desperately wanted to be a standup comic. I guess Fred wouldn’t let him.

Shit, at this point let’s just simulate the games on a PS4 jacked into the stadium jumbotron.

I believe this actually makes it worse.

Eye trauma, Jesus Christ. My poor mother has gone through a long and terrible ordeal that culminated with the loss of an eye. It was horrible.

It’s so cool how all those car companies that don’t have union workforces totally undercut union automakers on price and drove them out of business thirty years ago. Remember when that happened?

I Want You To Know I’m Rich But Trying To Be Modest About It Luxury

This is one of those issues where we super woke sports fans are supposed to pretend it’s totally cool for professional athletes to play video games during a game because it makes old fart beat writers who don’t get Sabermetrics mad, right?

...though he’s apparently being gender-swapped to a woman...

Until then, though, job one is “get them out of the way.” And things like this don’t help.

Fucking right? At this point if a photo came out of him at a Milwaukee bar in 1988 with his arm around Jeff Dahmer I’d be like “oh.”

something something penile effusion

I think a simpler explanation is that “lol GM luxury rofl” is such a meme here that Buick (and maybe Caddy) are just doomed.

Ah right, yeah, I get it now. In terms of hand size I might even be convinced me that matters!

It’s rather remarkable that Invisible Hand® enthusiasts have such a hard time with this. In a free market, no one has an obligation to sell you a goddamn thing if they don’t want to. Hypothetically then, if there’s such a hot market for violent crime simulators a competitor will come along and sell them, thus driving S…

Maybe this is a really stupid question, but do they really chart height to three decimal places? I would assume that precision can’t be relevant, but this is the NFL sooooo...

This is one of those places where social media makes it all worse, right? We know if our kid freaks out all it takes is one bored “influencer” to make your pain a mild internet sensation and your abilities as a parent a circlejerk of ridicule.