A good many years ago we were living in downtown Manhattan and traditionally spent New Year’s Eve at a very fun and funky restaurant also downtown, so we avoided the Times Square mess.

OMG! OMG! OMG! I was first! I’d like to thank the Jezcademey! And the turkey grease! And oh they’re playing me off....

I don’t remember, all I know is that my wife started talking to me again in late March.

Oh, fuck me, I hate them so much. I’ve mentioned on here before that I’m a volunteer escort at two clinics in the city where I live and I gotta tell ya, the forced birther crowd has become downright terrifying. I was an escort in 1988 or 89 during Operation Rescue’s “Summer of Life” or whatever they called it, and I…

Absolutely brilliant! I will have to practice to be able to say that before other responses tumble out of my mouth.

I live in paul ryan’s hometown, and let me fucking tell you, he is every bit the troll, gremlin, goblin, creep, fuckface you imagine him to be.

“My fetus is gay”. It should make the nut-jobs heads explode.

Ha. Not only would the GOP fund that abortion, but they’d then offer you an IUD in the shape of a rifle.

too bad we can’t do something similar for firearm purchasers:

“the neighborhood witch told me that if brought to term, the baby would be a gender-fluid socialist, and would go on to have a successful career in politics and be the first president to enact the repeal of the 2nd amendment”

“I’m a Satanist.”

And what happens if people choose not to answer the questions? Or write in snarky answers as they damn well should?

You gotta play into their superstitious fears. Like so:

How about “A fortune teller has foreseen that this fetus, if carried to term, would eventually grow up only to become a Republican forced-birth fuckwad” ?

Spoilers: Final season of GoT will contain at least one giant battle! Shocker!

GRRM was scheduled to write the script for the battle scene, so.....

Two of my friends are getting married this year and I’m MOH in both. I have spent the last six months perpetually crying inside dreading the money this will cost me. It’s just tricky because I know I’m gonna be struggling for the money, but there’s no way I could say no and not damage the relationships. I WANT to be…

Thats the hardest part right now. I’ve got a baby and everyone is getting married and saying no kids or expecting us to stay a whole weekend. Several of them we’ve been asked to be in the wedding party. It’s rough

Thats fine and dandy for those who live next to all their friends. My closest friends live thousands of miles away. Not going to my best friends wedding or saying I won’t be in it would be devastating to our friendship. It’s a part of the deal. It’s tough on my wallet. It’s ok to whine.

oh man, that’s super awkward. One of our visits to see my in-laws in Colorado, they picked us up from the airport and my father-in-law suggested we “go see the wild animal place”. I was horrified that he might mean some sort of roadside zoo, so I asked for the exact name of the place and googled it so as to research…