I found out my ex was cheating when I was 8 months pregnant. I locked down emotionally and decided I could stick it out for two years, instead of taking my toddler and soon-to-be-newborn and trying to manage on my own. I was a SAHM so I frankly needed that financial security.

My thoughts exactly. I was 25 to my now-husband’s 40, and I was adamant about splitting everything right down the line until we had been together well over two years. It was extremely important to me that we didn’t inadvertently create some sort of dependent relationship.

Exactly. The advice about her foisting child rearing for a newborn on him is garbage. He’s not invested in the relationship. If his lady can’t move to him, he WILL move to her, and if LW thinks he’s going to put in his work as a father, let him prove it otherwise.

Word to all of this.

LW3: Major walled-off areas of her personal life + nasty temper means she’s obviously hiding something significant. She’s either got another relationship going on, or her father is an abusive, purity-obsessed maniac. Either way, you’re just enabling the situation. Give her an ultimatum to level with you about what’s…

...Which makes sense if there weren’t a child involved. “Winning the divorce” is not worth having an awful co-parenting relationship.

My dude, why did you start paying the bills for someone who (allegedly) lives with their parent?? I was 21 when I started dating my now husband when he was in his mid 30s. I wouldn’t even let him chip in for dog food until we were nearly 2 years in. It is was very important to me that I be completely independent…

See, this is what we call “actionable advice”. She’s looking for specific things she can DO, and if she’s resigned herself to the fact that they’re going coparent, she should get her financial and custodial houses in order BEFORE she’s stuck with a newborn that there’s no guarantee he’ll help with.

LW 1: GET OUT. Do not listen to this advice here and get out now. It’s not going to get better.

This advice is so good that I’m thinking about taking it even though I’m happily married with no children.

The amount of time that affair continued, along with the lengths he went to to cover it up tell me one thing: He won’t stop. He sounds messed up. You sort of have to be to carry something on like that for so long. My husband carried on a affair for a long time and eventually came clean to me. He also has some…

Yeah she pretty much needs to get hardcore. And fast.

AND THEY NEVER HAD JEWELRY WHICH ALWAYS FIT.

My thoughts exactly!

Several years ago, the Gap had stuff I wanted every time I went — they always had a good selection of well-executed staples at a decent price (not cheap but not ridiculous), good shirts, Ts, jeans, slacks, dresses, etc., even coats — and I spent a lot of my clothes budget there.

I just got buy one get one free jeans at NY&Co! And a ton of cardigans and tops for like $15 each. Love it.

New York and Company tends to have good office wear. I have drawers full of their sweaters for the winter that are comfortable and cute. They change inventory pretty often too so you can probably find stuff that fits well, even if you’re boobalicious like me.

Since The Limited closed I also have nowhere to buy work clothes too. Clothing shopping is such a chore now. Everything is ugly.

Right? Weird thin fabrics or cuts that are just abominable. Patterns so boring I could just blergh.

I’ve always felt their clothes were boring and expensive. I can get a pair of denim shorts at Target for about twenty-five bucks less than at the Gap AND three tees for the price of one pseudo-vintage Gap tee.