They are the WORST.

Sure, fair enough. My point was, some people might find it *meaningful* or *important* to get married in a building of worship for whatever reason. And they should not be made to feel like shit for it by guests who think church weddings are a monstrous inconvenience.

Thank you! These days, if I get a wedding invitation and all I’m thinking about is the inconvenience of attending, I say to myself, “Well I guess this is a wedding I should just sit out.”

You should. Because god forbid people have to drive or catch a ride from the church to another location. That is asking WAY too much of grown-ass adults! Or! You better at least provide a shuttle that makes three return trips to the hotel over the course of your reception, so that nobody has to stay longer than they…

I used my great-grandmother’s lentils.

If I were a wedding photographer, I’d be like, “OMG we NEED to incorporate that in the engagement shots!”

Gah! Again, I am so so SO relieved we didn’t have to have a Catholic wedding because it’s required to promise so much shit — you’ll have kids, raise them Catholic, yadda yadda. I kept thinking, “Shit, I’d have to LIE in my wedding vows.”

I was SO GRATEFUL my parent-pleasing, raised-Catholic husband was willing to do a quickie ceremony at the venue. I’d have gotten married in a church if he wanted to. Glad he didn’t!

My cousin, who was engaged the same time I was, LOVED when photographers asked about her Pinterest presence because it was something she carefully curated. Meanwhile, I was looking for photographers like you. And I found an awesome one.

There are so many gives-and-takes, though.

lol mine too. “Hmmm.... wondering what they’re doing during all this time?”

I can see religious people having to have the break, though (I believe it’s called the “Catholic gap” for a reason). Churches often will let you book only awkward times for weddings, like, say 1:30 pm (because they generally have morning and/or evening services/events themselves). And then dinner isn’t until, well,…

Lentils, on the other hand will ALWAYS be in.

LOL that was OUR theme, too!

Are you saying all three need to be in the same place? I mean, don’t go if it bothers you that much, but I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding that had all three in the same place (except my cousin’s wedding at a Sandals resort). Most I’ve been to have 2 out of 3 under one roof. Like, church ceremony but then…

Got married in 2016. Eventually, I just started answering every question with, “We’re doing a Clockwork Orange theme.”

Just got back from my midwestern hometown, and, kid you not, was talking about Pentatonix with a family friend who haaaaates them. I do not hate them, but I did agree that, yes, they are like the Thomas Kinkade of the music world.

Preach. Last SXSW some white prick from NY was lecturing me, drunkenly, while munching on a DELICIOUS taco from the fucking truck I recommended to him, that I need to “get out” of Texas, away from the “racism.” Like, dude, I can do more good HERE and besides, why would I want to go to a place full of people like you?…

As a Texan, I will be donating to PP “in honor of” Texas Health and Human Services Inspector General Stuart Bowen. I encourage everyone to donate in the names of anti-choice lawmakers and then contact their offices with the good news. Or write it on their Facebook pages in response to whatever “feel-good” Merry…

People don’t realize Houston is as diverse as it is because a) Everyone stays in their damn cars. In NY and other big cities, you see and hear the diversity on the streets, everywhere. In Houston, you don’t — you just see cars everywhere; and b) The best restaurants are hidden away in strip malls and most people from…