Eh, I don’t think it was a bad year at the plate for him, judging by his waist size.

John, Paul, George, and Rondo.

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

...“he finished last in the 40-car field March 5 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway and failed to qualify for the season-opening race at Daytona International Speedway.”

The dog would later get in trouble for leaving Ryan Howard’s contract all over the rug.

The woman sitting there might as well be wearing a shirt that says “I’m barren".

It’s really just a portable shit factory for Philly fans to throw.

She won’t co-operate because it means she will be entitled to half of the $19 million (minus suspension time) that he will make when she divorces him.

Oh no. Now that marriage may not work out.

No Adam, they looked at your 78 OPS+ and asked you to stop coming to the clubhouse entirely.

This is shaping up to be the biggest “Who gives a fuck?” story of 2016!! My heart is not racing for the next installment!

Ugh...fuck everyone involved with this stupid nonsense. Kids should not spend every single day in a professional baseball clubhouse. How is that not a fucking given?

I’ve turned my entire office into a bunch of Redbreast fans. Between a bottle of Powers for regular drinking, and a pour of Redbreast from time to time, I consider my Irish whiskey collection fairly complete.

You should re-create the exact same injury on yourself and then let us know the odds of survival.

The nerve of some peephole...

If we’re being honest, this whole thing pushed her career forward faster than ever.

He also keeps referring to Stephen Strasberg as “Lee”, and constantly asks him what Ben Gazzara is like in person.

That’s the Victoria’s secret Cole. It’s nothing.

Note: Jesus Quincy Adams is Ted Cruz’s favorite Founding Father.

True, but, as an adult, she still thinks she had a great time. Her word should count for something.