Dunno. From the photo evidence above, your cat seems to think you made a wise purchase.

It may have originated in China, but America is going to make bigly huge!

Y’all have just written the definitive Trump biography.

Never forget. At bare minimum, remember in November. 

Classic

But...but of course it was negative. A strapping healthy 230 pound stallion like Donald J. Trump is stronger than any mere virus!

Yeah, this is great. They’ll send you to a testing site....that has no tests.

We’re saved.

When I first heard tales of the Great TP Rush Of ‘20, I wondered “Are people wrapping themselves up mummy-style? Is 2 ply the magic virus barrier?”

My stepdaughter has neutropenia, an immune system disorder. The doctors tried Neulasta to try and bolster her system. We also heard that bone pain *could* be a side effect. Could be? We watched her her writhe and scream in agony for hours till she passed out exhausted. Laying soaked in sweat, shaking so hard she…

“I don’t take responsibility at all.”

You’d think people would be getting past the “apocalypse” stage at this point. This is serious, for sure. But didn’t y’all get 500 rolls of toilet paper last week? Jezeus....

My niece said her local Walgreens had a fully stocked paper goods aisle but the cleaning supplies were mostly still wiped out. No sanitizer still but plenty of soaps. She must’ve gotten there at the exact right time.

Went by a Costco today. Luckily, not my destination as the parking lot was pandemonium. Can only imagine what the carnage inside was like.

n e v e r

#NotAllBoomers, thank you very much. I prefer not to die gasping for air like a thing gasping for air*

Surprised Pence hasn’t brought in Elizabeth Holmes to spearhead the whole testing process.

Even Pence can be correct without realizing it.

Welp. Do I like Biden? No I do not. Is he going to be the nominee? Looks that way. Does that make me happy? No it does not. Will I vote for him and try to encourage as many people as possible to do the same? Absolutely yes I will. And I have to try to keep the faith that the younger generation of progressives will…

My first was at a party with a girl from a different school (NOT in Canada, thank you very much). She came up and asked me to dance. Whilst slow grinding, we started making out. I choose to remember it was magical. Then her friend came up and said they had to leave and she was gone. Didn’t even know her name.