"First, pop acts that get the most behind-the-scenes help tend to be the ones that focus most intently on the personalities onstage. I'm sure One Direction's songwriters and producers are doing pretty well for themselves, but I think they deserve
more attention: whoever wrote "What Makes You Beautiful" deserves more…

I guess that my problem is that those are so obviously names picked out of a hat. "…Or even modern-day artists like…let's see, who's the white rapper…Eminem! And the weird chick from a few years back…"

Ooh, accidentally topical pick.

"But also, I'm pretty sure half the Starship Troopers cast of vapid teens was in the dark about what they were making."

Maybe if he stopped dyeing and got rid of the bangs…

Yet she is also a mother, a child, a lover, a sinner, and a saint.

Soooooooooooooooooooooomething sooooooooooooooooomething chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanting moooooooooooooooooooooooonks

We love popular songs!

Thank you, Mr. Sinatra.

Also: the Verve Pipe has reported that "we were merely freshmen" - which sounds more like something said in a court testimony with each passing year.

Even less popular opinion: I like Gil Evans' version.

NO

Thomas Pynchon also apparently likes it.

Man - Lookwell, Pistol Pete, The Critic and this - is there a curse on former Simpsons writers?

And yet, out of the pair pictured, I still think Jack Antonoff's the bigger asshole.

I forgot for a second why I hate the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but thankfully Flea's sole pant leg reminded me.

That whole song sounds like it was a first draft thrown together in 15 minutes. And its background (it was apparently made to beat Neil Young's Heart Of Gold to the top of the charts - which it did) doesn't exactly dispel that impression.

Oh, and also - the AV Club turned into a hardcore pornography site so gradually…

…I don't want to see what the Birth Of A Nation phallic symbol is, do I?

I would reverse that, personally.