Benny ‘the jet’ Rodriguez? Yum!

Yeah, I was all about both.

And Joshua Jackson in The Mighty Ducks

and—the Hufflepuff/Miranda of the quartet—Chrissy (Ashleigh Aston Moore/Rita Wilson).

Oh god ME TOO. People were like ‘OH JTT IS THE BOMB’ and I was like, NO. THAT IS A LIE. GIVE ME MY SCRUNCHY, WE ARE NO LONGER BEST FRIENDS.

I was so SO in love with Devon Sawa, when I was a kid. Especially during Casper and Little Giants.

This isn’t really a ‘western’, since the period predates the so-called Old West by several decades. Hugh Glass was a frontiersman and fur trapper, not a cowboy or outlaw. He used muskets and flintlocks, not revolvers at high noon.

This is the lamest ass tryhard I have ever seen. This is how a friggin’ six year old would face. I can’t believe this guy.

Frisbees? They’re good, Protestant amusements.

I know, a kite hit me in the eye once. Down with kites!

It’s Springtime for Hitler and Germany....

It’s the classic “I meant to do that” defense.

It’s totally not fair. Those kites continue to soar through the heavens, and we’re just stuck here dragging our knuckles on the ground.

That the police did nothing does not mean nothing happened. As a matter of fact, this is the sort of behavior that both police AND athletes are known to engage in with sufficient frequency that it is difficult for any thinking person to not question the truth of the circumstances.

I'm not an expert in the matter, but I'm about 90% sure the women involved don't generally press charges the first time police get involved in domestic disputes. Pretty sure that's the MO.

“Laughing stick”

I went back and forth on that too. So now he’s wailing “DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!!” But it’s still the fault of us feminzai bitches.

Don’t you love to imagine it going down? I have this whole mental movie in my mind. He’s giggling as he’s typing, rubbing his hands together, slightly flushed. ‘Oooooh, this is gonna be soooo good! These dumb liberal feminazi shit asses! I’m gonna get them sooooo good this time! They’ll lose their minds!…

See, I think it’s the string spools that lead and guide the kites that are the worst! Those things are always tangling up and sabotaging everything!

I’m curious about what industry possesses no kites. Why would you even want to work there?