Donnie is gyrating and flailing about as usual when suddenly a deeply concerned look comes across his bright orange face. Looking extremely uncomfortable, he begins to visibly squirm behind his podium. He waves at one of the producers to approach him and he whispers something to him, which is greeted by a vigorous…

My alternate fantasy: the orange lunatic is babbling uncontrollably, gyrating and flailing about, when suddenly a masked man who looks a lot like Jeb? runs on to the stage and strikes Trump on the side of his kneecap with a large piece of lead pipe. The pudgy weirdo screams in pain and falls to the floor. Ted Cruz…

My fantasy: The pudgy orange freak is babbling on and on about creating jobs or how huge he is when suddenly, just out of nowhere, someone in the crowd hurls half a brick at him. He’s flailing and gyrating around, making one of those violently annoying faces of his and the bricks travels on a perfect arc, striking the…