I don’t want to ruin your joke, but I’m pretty sure he always offered choices:

Ben Roethlisberger introduced the players’ three choices

Also according to the recap above, on her first day she apparently asked someone if he “became gay” because of a gay TV character. She can fuck right off, sloppily!

Pussy bow blouses are in again, but I really don’t understand how anyone even tries it after this flawless execution.

This was so incredibly cringeworthy. She comes off insincere, trying to show off her new Jan Brady, like she’s no longer the conjecturing, opinionated, fear-mongering conservative of Fox News, but NBC Today’s straight version of Ellen.

Exactly. It’s as if NBC expects us to just forget everything she’s said and done in the interest of “unity” and “moving forward”. I’m sure most of their audience will be happy to do so, but some of us won’t. (Of course, I’m not in NBC’s audience, either actual or as their desired target demographic, so they don’t…

Can’t wait until the holiday episodes when Megyn Kelly reminds us that Santa Claus is white.

Kathie Lee Gifford punched Megyn Kelly in the uterus and said, “The Lanisters send their regards.”

• Megyn Kelly said she had “dreamed” of hosting an “uplifting” show for a long time, and that the “mission” of Megyn Kelly Today is to “deliver hope and optimism and empowerment.”

Ugh. Please don’t tell me this is “500 Days of Megyn”

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Tom is someone who constantly mixes up the use of their, they’re and there along with your and you’re, not to mention to, two and too.

By the looks of him in that video, wandering aimlessly and ineffectively in the middle of the pitch, he is indeed on his way to being the next Michael Bradley.

“I don’t see why not.”

Horse people are usually terrible people.

It is kind of stupid that 6 teams play at once.

I honestly don’t know why anyone still goes to an NFL game anymore. The tickets are expensive, everything inside the stadium is expensive, parking is ridiculous, and EVERY single week, there’s some video of some drunk-ass subhuman starting a fight in the stands.

“Wait, there are Chargers fans?”

“Wait, people go to these games?”

“You can’t really dust for vomit.”

Players shall sit out the first half of the season opener.