He was also responsible for this glorious post after the Eagles won:

He grabbed that flag by its...um...crease?

Gotta hand it to the (puke) Warriors (puke) for doing it first though.

If it did, he’s certainly been searching for them.

Makes me glad to be an Eagles fan.

“I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.”

Can we back up slightly and talk more about your roommate selection criteria?

If having rich, indulgent daddies is all it takes, why aren’t Bennington and Wesleyan running the table in college hoops?

More like Pooperintendent amirite

Ten bucks says he has a YouTube channel.

I had no idea a grown man’s voice could sound like that.

Staff should have watched the video that shows that even a pasty Englishman can rip an apple if done correctly. “If you twist you fail. Twisting equals tears.”

“...a genetically altered bin of NOXplode to bite an Abercrombie & Fitch cable knit sweater...”

The last time I destroyed a Gala, I was never invited back.

That’s not how you rip an apple, brah

This is some irresponsible bullshit. What kind of apple is that, Sage? You can’t just be out here assuming all apples have the same structural integrity. Asshole.

Oh I have such a shame. I allowed a genetically altered bin of NOXplode to bite an Abercrombie & Fitch cable knit sweater and now we have this apple smashing creature to deal with. I am so sorry.

Could have really used him this weekend, when I was stymied by a particularly stubborn relish jar.

+1 son of God.

Nailed it.