In the olden days, they had something called “makeup”.

“Loose weight”? Is that like cellulite? Disgusting.

They can call 1 of them “Ms. America”.

How did they get the lightsaber streak on the train to glow so well? Just good use of contrast?

So you want them to look like the International Space Station instead of like pasta?

So that’s why they’re always yellow.

So tachyons are molecules & water isn’t?

Make it a yellow baseball bat: 2 for 1.

As usual, doctors are wasting their time studying the symptom.

This is the typical confusion of a quantity with its time derivative.

They don’t like the army?

Self-driving cars make drive-by shootings easier.

What about the Korean w/o subtitles?

The basic criteria for a good ringtone are:

I just throw 'em in a pot & boil 'em.

but adults who care about adults who care about adults... What were we talking about?

You don't have to eat everything.

What about the claim that a body in better shape has a higher metabolic rate, & thus burns more calories?

So it's just a coincidence this happened shortly after Gandhi II in the movie UHF?

Apparently the most important part to remember about bears is to figure out what kind it is, since the tactics are exactly opposite for the 2 cases. What do you do if it's a brown bear? Polar bear? I guess they're friendly, or nobody hikes near them.