My great great great grandfather bought his wife (native american) for a horse (stolen) and 4 goats. Doesn’t seem like prices have changed that much in 100+ years. Not sure if the goats were stolen as well but knowing my family history they probably were.

This would be great for the women, they can see that they are highly rated and then with that new sense of confidence sign up for Ashley Madison to have an affair, escaping the clutches of their douchewaffle husbands.

Not to far a stretch to expect the natural next step from an app that rated your wife would be the ability to say “Hey, since you don’t want to fuck your wife, can I?”

I still can’t get my head around the degree that some people salivate over the idea of executing people. They can talk about “justice” as much as they like, but we all know they’re just getting off to it. It serves no practical purpose.

The best thing about Chris Pratt is Andy Dwyer.

I want John Hamm to win an Emmy for The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

I don’t know, Jon Cryer. I think Bob Odenkirk might really deserve this one. I also don’t think the Emmy’s have a history of acknowledging the last-chance award.

Unless you’re in the military, in law enforcement, or maybe a medical professional, it is completely unacceptable to refer to women as “females.” Women is the term for female humans. Female is a term that could refer to anything: rabbits, fish, certain parts of plants. It’s dehumanizing to refer to women this way…

The entitlement is strong with this one.

The part was just a complete WTF. Who sends a detective their college essay? A rapist apparently. So creepy.

Another reason I hate tipping systems - because it makes customers feel entitled to the server being their personal performing monkey. They tip you, you sing and dance and do whatever they want for them. Fuck. All. That. Shit.

Sheepsplain? Ugh fuck ewe

I would love to know the answer to that question. In the meantime...SQUEE!!

Gifs: peak of human achievement! It’s probably all downhill from here.

The accountant at my work supports him. He loves him because of his “American Bravado. Countries LOVE when America shows its strength.” This is a man who is (inexplicably) married, who does not read, can only discuss sports, does not eat a *single* vegetable (“that’s my food’s food”) a man who routinely makes…

The worst. There was this one song called Mother Trucker that she hummed all the time. She hummed it like it was a gospel song, she even closed her eyes while doing it sometimes. God I hated that woman. I bet she tells people that I’m her black friend so she can’t be racist.

That brief moment when the internet actually makes me happy

I will not care about that Panda baby until it grows hair and looks adorable.

Woah, that is the most Florida thing to ever Florida.