Sheepsplain? Ugh fuck ewe

I would love to know the answer to that question. In the meantime...SQUEE!!

Gifs: peak of human achievement! It’s probably all downhill from here.

The accountant at my work supports him. He loves him because of his “American Bravado. Countries LOVE when America shows its strength.” This is a man who is (inexplicably) married, who does not read, can only discuss sports, does not eat a *single* vegetable (“that’s my food’s food”) a man who routinely makes…

The worst. There was this one song called Mother Trucker that she hummed all the time. She hummed it like it was a gospel song, she even closed her eyes while doing it sometimes. God I hated that woman. I bet she tells people that I’m her black friend so she can’t be racist.

That brief moment when the internet actually makes me happy

I will not care about that Panda baby until it grows hair and looks adorable.

Of course I did. I’m not the piss boy, you know ;) (every once in a while a new announcer would pronounce it “money” and if the right group of riders/spectators were hanging aound they would yell back “De-Mo-NAY”)

You’ll notice that I didn’t exactly “say” how I had finished....

Right? Americans couldn’t HANDLE Australian politics! It’s a straight up, throw down, shitfight of nasty. Release the pearls, USians! Penny Wong is a gay woman walking past a bleating man child who has instructed his WHOLE FUCKING PARTY to not vote on their conscience for gay marriage.

I also wish the HPV thing was more out there. I got one of the bajillion strains and got pelvic inflammatory disease from it. I may not be able to have kids because of how long it went untreated. But when I went to my gyno 5 years after that she still suggested I get the vaccine. Because there are a bajillion strains…

Oh, ouch. I think it might have been an actual source of shame when I got HPV, so as far as I know she didn´t tell anyone. (She was also deeply worried - it took a long time to get proper medical information about how serious the abnormal cells were, and she cried because she was worried I might actually have…

Woah, that is the most Florida thing to ever Florida.

To preface this: the following story takes place in Florida.

Mine didn´t tell people I was a virgin, but she was definitely into telling people I was a whore. The summer before my sophomore year in college, I moved in with my boyfriend of two years. A neighbor came over to visit my mom and my mom was yammering on and on about my plans with my boyfriend. For some reason, I made…

My mom and I had a rough time in high school. I had a hair-trigger temper that came directly from her. We were in the car arguing about... nothing important, probably, when she was getting really mad that I was insisting on holding a packet that had my competitive dance photos in it while we argued. (We use sign…

Imma just shut your “it’s not about gender but let me bring up gender” shit down right now. When Obama told that trans heckler “Not in my house” I was Team Obama. Still am. Obama is bae, Wong is Bae. People don’t owe you niceness playa.

Nah, don’t feel bad. I figure, you advocate shooting Malala in the head, I get to to laugh/joke about your violent death.

One of my students shaded the hell out of me this morning. I mentioned that we needed to start the quiz earlier because classes were shortened this week and this girl goes “Weird. Your class seemed longer than normal.”