Can we call him Your Drunk Uncle Johnny Depp? Because I get that vibe every time I see a picture of him now.

My Mormon Tabernacle Choir Inauguration story:

“Russia, if you’re listening, please force bands to play for my inauguration.”

Right, she’s the psychopath, not the insane drunken drugged out abusive dude. Sure.

Go away J.Depp. Amber is “not doing this to herself”. WTF victim blamey dude ?

Shower, not just with water, but require some kind of exfoliant, because that dude is still lugging around skin cells from his Gilbert Grape days. Oh, and no smoking in the shower. 10 minutes without one of those vile, brown cigs will do him some good.

It arguably kicked off the terrible trend of kitchen sink comedies with interconnected plots, which is deeply unfortunate, but you can’t blame Nirvana for Nickelback.

I’m a realist, and I understand that not knowing a person’s motivation for lying or exaggerating, doesn’t mean said motivation doesn’t exist. Though I don’t know much about either Depp or Heard, I’ve been slightly more inclined to believe her since the beginning, but now? The fact that this dude, who has always had…

Limit him to one accessory (scarf, tie, bracelet, ring, necklace, earring, hat, non-prescription glasses) per outfit. I’m picturing him spending a couple of days agonizing over whether he cares more about the bangle or the ring before he sighs and sends Amber her check.

*Make him shower.

I am absolutely team heard in this battle, and think the PSAs were a great way for her to make her point without violating the agreement. And it seems like this motion on Depps part is idiotic and will be denied. I don’t think her legal team needed to come out with a dig about his box office performance BC it’s…

No “self regulating mechanism?” Well, Jennifer Aniston said Brad was missing an “sensitivity chip.”

The sense of entitlement with abusive men is at the root of this.

Lol. Exactly. I’m a dude who likes a good scarf, but yeah, too much.

I’d love to know what grounds Depp’s lawyers feel they have to demand that Heard to pay part of their fees. Unless that was part of the original divorce settlement (and I’m assuming it’s not based onHeard’s attorney’s response), they can’t just decide that Amber owes them that money and that they have a right to take…

Johnny Depp is a goddamn toddler. Grow the fuck up and get sober you bloaty piece of shit.

Nah, I still remember his unfunny rape joke attempt during Hobbit press tour. He’s kinda always seemed like that generic white dude who’s probably a bit of an asshole if you knew ‘im.

budget his neckscarf spending

The court should prohibit JDepp from getting any more stupid fucking tattoos until he pays Amber’s full settlement. That oughta light a fire under his Keith Richards wannabe and failing ass.

Amber Heard was way to nice in the divorce. She should have taken Depp’s ass to the cleaners.....and wrote a tell-all book afterwards.