His voice is beautiful and melty and makes me feel things in my pants area. But I can agree he doesn’t have the resonance of opera by a long shot.

This sounds like a job for the insane clown posse.

Did your professor also have a string of pearls hung next to the article for people to clutch while they read it?

Kris Jenner knows better than to let that happen

My daughter hugged me when I told her we wouldn’t be going to their house for Christmas. My 6 month re-visit is a lie. We’d already decided to take a year break. I told them 6 months as an extra “Fuck You” to them. In May, they’ll call and I’ll say, “nah”.

If I could go back in time, I’d do two things:
1.) Parental block my dad’s computer
2.) Parental block Fox News from his TV

He was a complete novice on the computer - but he’s a complete champ now at running down sites that sound innocuous (“America First,” “Patriot News”) but are thinly-veiled, terrible-looking fronts…

Sorry, I used up all my compassion on the guy whose dead son’s memory is being smeared.

Two years ago my husband and I were invited by his grandparents to attend their Sunday School. What struck me was just how genuinely frightened everyone was. From what I remember there seemed to be more talk about how bad Obama is and how close we are to the end times then there was about Jesus or God.

there are actual studies that prove the elderly are more vulnerable to scams. Something to do with how our brains function as we age, we lose the ability to reason on some of that stuff. Thats why old people are always targets for scams

Hey asshole, this is America! We’re not allowed to be happy anymore.

Jesus would be so proud of their passive-aggressive use of the phrase.

Not to mention that she’s probably better off in prison than in her current state of existence.

How dare you oppress them by wishing them a happy time! Monster!

That poor tree. Killed to make about the ugliest Christmas Tree ever.

I guess the straps on her house slippers were broken.

The former waitress, who said she has been unemployed since 2004, spoke in a soft voice and told the judge she is receiving Social Security disability assistance.

I’ve had a couple friends relate to me how easily their elderly mothers were seduced by right wing conspiracy talk. And while Trump and co. never had a chance with my own elderly mother, she certainly was sucked into a Nancy Grace vortex at one point. Propaganda is so dangerous.

This is good Jezebel.

You’d think that by now, 11 days away from the end of 2016, I’d be all out of fucks to give. But, lo and behold, like Santa’s toy-stuffed bag, here they are! Fucks! Fuck all these guys.

Narrowing this post down from the hundreds (thousands?) who came to mind must have been one of your hardest tasks this year.