Like Scarlett is okay if it’s not next to an Evangeline so now I know they are named after Scarlett Johansson and Evangeline Lily. Which leads me to believe Esme is named after the Twilight baby that clawed it’s way out of Kristen Stewart’s stomach and caught the eye of that werewolf...and then Indie...well, they are…

Every time I see this picture of Cruz I don’t know whether to laugh hysterically or vomit.

Only if O’Malley is there, trying to get a few minutes in edgewise.

Tear stained, with a little dribble of canned tomato soup from one of his weepy chats with Mom about how Dad never loved him.

So:

i hear if you sleep with jeb! he’ll give you one of his 3 oatmeal sweaters

would i get a free fleece vest out of it or....?

What did you think of Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson? I thought it was great. But those are the only 3 I’ve seen. Oh wait, and the Rock’s Saturday Night Live. I’ve never sat down and watched the show. Just saw clips.

I will give you this point. How many of us are fucked up b/c of some shitty shite from our parent’s divorce?! Oh, hell, I am in spades! Jesus & Pear shouldn’t have to go thru that so kudos to GP & CM.

Moran. She will regert this.

He has an interesting definition of “self-funded” since he only donated $100,000 to his own campaign and has spent over $6 million

I’m more scared of Cruz than I am of him.

Kevin did not deserve this. He is too pure to be mixed with the human equivalent of toe fungus.

And a hearty “see you later, alligator” to music critic, cookbook author, and honorary Duggar Mike Huckabee. (Sorry, I thought changing the subject in O’Malley’s goodbye article would be a fitting tribute to O’Malley.)

You’re always winning when you’re making up both the contest and the rules.

props to 90-yr old Michigan’s ex-Rep. Dingell for trolling so well

Hey man, it’s always nice when you don’t get any Santorum on your Caucus.

I love you too! I’m not on Twitter-someday though...when the technology is no longer relevant, I’ll totally hop on that train. By the way did you here about this new thing called WIRELESS internet? I’m going to check into it, although I’M Preeeetty sure America Online will be JUST fine! Who doesn't love that they have…

He will. It’s just after how tiring the festivities were, he’s probably knee deep in bodies, ravenously sucking blood in a feeding frenzy to maintain some semblance of youth. He’ll lift his head soon from a femoral artery, his lips and face smeared with blood to bellow at an intern to grab him his phone and some baby…

The party was fabulous! Everyone was there! My mother, Jane a woman I met in line at CVS who loves free food, Tom. Tom has an IQ of 58 and I told him my car was a taxi!! Oh um other people were there too! Uh chair...y. Um Cherry Rug...stain. That’s right Cherry Rugstein. She’s Jewish so you know she’s smart with her…