Yup. My daughter has to close one of ours out of her room when she puts the sheets on her bed. He’s not quite as bad with mine. For some reason, he has it bad for her sheets. And it looks exactly like this.

IKR? It should have been a huge red flag. He was full of other, little lies too. He put an adjacent town in his profile, one that sounded better, even though he actually lived in the less-prestigious one. Which, who cares? But he obviously thought potential dates would. I stayed with him for 5 months which was stupid.…

I once dated a guy who claimed in his online profile that he was a non-smoker. On our second date we ended up at his house, which clearly smelled like smoke. I asked him if he smoked and he said, "No. But I have friends who do. And I occasionally join them." (!) Which was his way of saying he was a full-blown smoker…

I feel like I should clarify that I understand depression is an illness; I have suffered from it myself and have been medicated at various points in my life. But I have also worked very hard to combat it and have managed a ton of personal growth over the years. I know I still have much to learn. My slam on my ex has…

Wow, you sound strong as hell. That's an amazing story. I have been through a ton of shit in my life (cheating husband, divorce, loss of a parent, child with cancer, etc.) and I am a firm believer that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I bet you feel like you could weather anything now, right? And…

I married a guy who turned out to be a real depressive and probably a little borderline. Definitely stunted emotionally. The amazing thing about him is that he has gotten to be this old (I'm an old, and he's older than me) and still has not figured out that you make your own happiness. It's really amazing to behold,…

I'm no medical professional but based on diagrams I've seen, she has some facial features that could be consistent with fetal alcohol syndrome. So she had that going for her as well. Not defending her, just suggesting that, as you pointed out, this is a depressing situation.

Yes.

I made this. Feel free to share!

What greater expression of faith in the American experiment than this; what greater form of patriotism is there; than the belief that America is not yet finished, that we are strong enough to be self-critical, that each successive generation can look upon our imperfections and decide that it is in our power to remake…

Tater tots with scrambled eggs and cheese on top for dinner. Haven't had it in a while but when my daughter was on a tots kick, we did that once in a while. Oh, so good.

I just went here and there is actually a person with my measurements! She looks great but she is under 25 so things are quite a bit firmer.

I have a friend who has a cold allergy. Like, she if she is out in the cold, she will get hives! It is very strange but apparently not all that unusual. Since we live in a climate that is cold in the winter, I guess she just bundles up and tries to be out in it as little as possible. (She's a neighbor, so we usually…

Word to the wise: do not buy "regular" duck boots. I have some that I have had for 20 years (they last forever) but they are good for rain only. My feet freeze in those things. Apparently I missed the "insulated" ones when I ordered these. I was moving from California to Chicago at the time, and I guess I didn't…

I've told this story before but it's too far back in my comment history and I couldn't find the link because kinja searching = no. When I was around 5, I always noticed that many restaurants had signs outside that often included the word "cocktails." I had recently mastered the story "The House that Jack Built,"…

Post. He had the accident in Dec 1988 and I think this was probably around 1991-92 or so. He was friendly and introduced himself to me. Didn't seem impaired but we were just making small talk about our cars, not solving quadratic equations. He didn't seem like he was on anything either. He must have been having a good…

1) I've told this story before. At a car wash in Santa Monica I almost ran over Justine Bateman who was in line ahead of me and suddenly decided to get out of her car and come around to check something on her rear bumper; later that same visit, I ended up chatting with Gary Busey for about 30-45 minutes while both of…

Oh gawd, I don't even want to think about the financial aid/college app shit which will be starting much too soon. Ugh.

Nope. Me neither. I need to tone it down a notch because on some level of Momness I'm afraid she won't know how to operate without my constant instruction when she goes away to college, so I need to back off and let her learn it.

This is totally exactly what I would text my daughter (now a high school junior) if she were away at college. In fact, she's been away on community-service work trips and camp and stuff, and I would text her shit like this all the time. Hell, I text her shit like this if it's going to be super-cold getting home from…