Bah humbug! Everybody knows wizards use owls anyway!

He's the duck whisperer! Err. Duck screamer.

you do mean the racoon, right?

On the one hand, I'm a huge fan of using 'new' words, on the other hand it seems so silly. Oh well, I can't really be bothered to be annoyed by it.

Is that woman honestly sexualising a toy?

Soaking in a bath with some oatmeal is supposed to calm the skin as well.

Not again, Canada!

Was her name Jenny </flightoftheconchords>

Sounds like you've already grown skilled in other sexual areas, which are in general more likely to make a woman come anyway. The sex I've had with guys with small penises wasn't bad because of their size but because of their lack of skills and interest in other departments.

Where can I apply for the position of Decadent Fairy Queen?

My jaw literally dropped open. Wow.

Is anybody else reminded of Justin Bieber?

I need all of this in my life

So much fug!

Is it hot in here or is that just me?

That skin guide has a serious lack of pictures.

That's what coffee exists for, at least for us normals.

This reminds me a lot of the movie Robot and Frank which has a similarly competent robot, that's actually cute, without looking unheimlich.

That's awful and hopefully very much illegal.

I usually don't have the last names of my internet dates before the first date, as I don't feel like giving my full name so soon, so I don't google them beforehand.