Chris Clemons to me in the locker room: “You’re the dick-head of the group.”

Happy Valley is a great place to visit if you haven’t heard the word “faggot” said out loud in a while and want to confirm whether your memory of how it’s pronounced is correct.

Just wanted to say I love your name. DFW!

Well and that this is one of the greatest pulls ever.

Assuming the players named were named correctly, because how the fuck would I know, that was a pretty great sequence for the guys calling that game. Delightful.

I'd do it if I were him, but that kind of poor judgment is why I'm not anyone

What part of your response invalidates mine?

Since, I dunno, 10+ years ago?

FYI y’all, he interrupted the game because the sign was directly in front of one of the play clocks.

Just when I thought we were vibing, you shit on Andy Borowitz and I went back to feeling all alone in the world

At least a dozen times now, I’ve gotten halfway through an article, realized I was greatly digging the style of the writing, thought to myself “I bet this is Burneko,” and scrolled up to receive confirmation. You’re awesome.

Enes Kanter

See Net? Rank.

So Donaghy was right about Kennedy being gay, but wrong that Doc said something derogatory about it? And Voulgaris was wrong about actually being there and hearing it (something he seems to think is possible, but still)? And both guys were wrong that this led to Kennedy shafting Doc’s team from then on, even though…

Kinda ballsy on the first tee with some octogenarian staring daggers into your back already simply for being able to stand at an obtuse angle. We always waited until the 18th, giving the beer time to kick on.

He took the well-meaning advice a bit literally, wouldn’t you say?

Barkley also unveiled his two-step plan to address entitleist programs:

Yeah, from that you can tell that he was demonstrating something that happened in the game and that he might not have even actually touched her. It seems way less creepy, but it’s still Belichick, so the latent creep index remains high.

Here’s hoping!

Tribalism is sure getting interesting.

Serious aquadeuce question: if you transmit one of these babies while wearing standard-issue swim trunks, what state will your suit be in afterward? Tell me it’s as though nothing happened. I want to believe!

The woman playing Lara Croft is kinda wonderful.