Fuck Curt Schilling, but the game was actually pretty darn good. He just had no grasp of the economics involved, and neither, apparently, did the State of Rhode Island* (originally thought it was Maine for some reason).

How exactly does the IRS “crack down” on “Churches” when time-tested Supreme Court precedent makes perfectly clear that you can’t?

Quite a bit of this rings true for online dating in general. Depressing.

After reading that wonderful Albert Burneko piece, “Fuck Winning,” can we please also say “Fuck Greatness”? We’re being fed workaholism by the trough, which unlike other fun -holisms often results in increased monetary gain and prestige and the admiration of one’s rapidly multiplying petri dish fractal of…

Petrino, however, was playful and sociable during his enshrinement last week into the Unshaven Mat Latos Hall of Men with No Perceivable Facial Features.

This was wonderful. When I saw the headline I thought it might be about that Little League World Series softball scandal. I was arguing all day yesterday (yes, I’m questioning my priorities) with friends about that, who thought since it was “within the rules” (it actually wasn’t, but if it hypothetically were, they…

“Tiger is done and should just retire.”

One of my favorite writers at Grantland, Brian Curtis, wrote a piece on Spieth last week that I still can’t place on the satire continuum, but I fear resides at 0: http://grantland.com/the-triangle/t…

- relationships, if the last two and a half years are any indication
- superhero/comic book movies
- fighting with people on social media
- online dating if not for the fact it’s the only way i meet people to date
- anywhere with a bouncer
- fantasy sports
- YA books
- women 25 26 27 28 29 and younger *sniff*
- MMORPGS
- rap

I would have to take off my shoes and my pants to count up the number of backbreaking interceptions he has thrown the last few years and yet no one seems to call him on it ever.

I always thought Cowherd was more like Rain Man. One time at the station I spilled a giant stack of wood pencils on the ground in front of him and he instantly said “Faggot!”

Here are some rough numbers behind this:

This got vaguely Ignatius P. Reillyan with the “whipping out of dicks” part and for that I thank you.

He’s arguably the most influential fiction writer of the last 20 years, and I included the word “arguably” just to be nice.

Lil dude just refuses to play in gyms that aren’t OSHA compliant. Look at all those death traps out of bounds.

He forearms guy in blue in the throat and threatens to remove someone’s head from their neck over the course of like eight seconds. The name-calling dude may have had a point.

When asked why they had their phones on them during games, every member of the Browns coaching staff claimed that it was to receive messages from “Farmers Only”

If Kafka had already published a great work, and his sister wanted to release his unpublished rough drafts out of greed? The differences vastly outweigh the similarities.

Taking my therapist’s advice to be more forthright about personal shortcomings, I feel compelled to admit that my immediate reaction to this story was “Do humans even have 10 ribs?” and my second, significantly delayed reaction was “Probably.”