I worked at a Toyota dealership in high school, as a service helper. The one and only benefit was a discount on service work. As long as I drove it in, the service manager would write it up at the employee price. My Toyota driving cheapskate relatives took advantage of this, including my uncle, who gave me his 1986…

Downstairs Broom Girl vs. Pizza Rat for the PPV of the year.

I’m guessing that Dornan, like me, can’t get past the fact that she is 50% Melanie Griffith and 50% Don Johnson. No matter how you swing, that mix is going to cause “chemistry” problems.

As someone who prefers “Remembrance and Retribution” to the “Forgive and Forget” bullshit, I think there’s room for more than one joke that ridicules child and/or animal beaters. Especially if they’re funny.

She is incredibly good at her job. Granted, that’s as admirable as being employee of the month at Sobibor. Her ability to dispense consistent evil so efficiently is totally fascinating. I just wish she was a character on a TV drama instead of an advisor to my nation’s chief executive.

I did it in high school. I drove a near-new 1990 base 2WD truck through standing water. After push-starting, it sounded awful and I took it to the dealership the next day. They changed the oil. They changed the air filter after shaking a lot of water out of the old one. This was at 600 miles. Before the next 600…

I worked on a contract in and around SLC for most of 2002 and part of 2003. I can’t think of another city that has as much per capita LOVE for their pro sports team as Salt Lake. That love sells seats.

My favorite part was the soundtrack. Like modern Slavic chain-gang music.

Jesus. The first brand-new computer I ever bought. $999 for the 190cs. I used it with a 36k modem. I still have the comically large Eagle Creek laptop bag I bought with it.

When he gets the death penalty for treason, you may get your wish.

Impeachment? Wouldn’t direct collusion with a foreign government to cause harm against the United States be considered treason, a capital crime?

I hope it’s a liftback. It looks like a poor man’s Panamera.

I love this guy’s spirit. Seeing his passing-reliant strategy makes me wonder if he is planning on hiring recruiting two starting QB’s so he can rotate them like MLB pitchers, or what?

Make it whale oil, deliver the proposal to him by courier, and it will be a WINNING idea.

If the price of the solar roof hits parity with standard roofing (as intended), then the power generated is a byproduct that will help sell more Powerwall units. It may sound too good to be true, but Musk’s track record for divining profits makes me think it’s likely to be legit.

Definitely make (very little) room for Nuclear Throne and Atom Zombie Smasher.

Just looking at the first three on the list, I thought these were rental cars.

So things have changed since the early nineties.

If you switch now, I can work out a deal with my god that lets you pay just half that amount and you will still get the same priority god-service that you are receiving from your current provider. As the conduit of divine communion, I do charge a 10% transmission fee. This brings the total cost of your tithe to only…

Rule of thumb: Grab the first cup to hit the pot. Screw everybody else.