she feels like she’s “expected” to orgasm, which sets off her anxiety issues.

Honestly, I’ll take the dry spell. Bad lovers don’t give you orgasms and they won’t fulfil any need for human affection either and I can give myself amazing orgasms so I’ll pass on the selfish jerks. But I’m a weirdo who has no problem being by myself for long periods of time rather than put up with someone I’m with…

I really liked this piece — I think it does a good job of bringing out some nuances around trying to be a good, diligent partner. That said, I really need to point out some trends in the comments section that are representative of what happens in every comments section on the topic of sexual behavior.

My guy loves going down but isn’t into receiving, which I’ve struggled with because I like doing it, and I have worried that he doesn’t want me to because I’m not good at it (we’ve been together forever and I don’t have much experience in this area other than with him). He swears that it is because he feels less…

Yeah, not sure why the Jez author didn’t leave it at that.

> The writer is bragging about not giving oral & basically doesn’t care that his partner has an orgasim as long as he does.

Yeah, Tracy’s underlying attitude on this subject is kind of ugly. And I hate the way she forces the equivalence between “woman is willing to permit vaginal penetration until man has orgasm” and “man is willing to perform cunnilingus until woman has orgasm.”

By not sucking dick, Stevenson has prevented no man from still getting off via sex. By not going down on women, Lloyd has effectively refused to give women orgasms from sex, while ostensibly continuing to get them for himself.

Eating out a woman is not the only way to make her orgasm. While I don't argue with most of your article, that fact is incorrect.

You had me until “This is why Alison Stevenson is a hero, and William Lloyd is the exact opposite.”

Nope. I’m willing to bet both suck in bed. Did Stevenson proudly proclaim that she had some man toy that performed oral on her and she did jack shit with him? It’s not like she’s going the extra mile in other areas to…

I CAN’T HIT LIKE HARD ENOUGH. EVERY WORD IS GOLD.

So we’re now shaming people for not giving you what you want, sexually?

Who are you to dictate what a man or woman should want to do to another person with their own body? Expecting anything sexual from another person of either sex is unacceptable. Being irritated by their lack of compliance or attempt of compliance is…

Par for the course in 2015.

If someone doesn’t do something you want them to, you publicly shame them.

If a man wrote articles shaming women who don’t give head, they would be doxed and people would work tirelessly to get them fired.

One of the reasons Mr Chitlins is well, Mr Chitlins is because he eats pussy like it’s going to be taxed in the next 10 minutes. This man is the king of giving head.

I agree with you on the double standard. Most women don’t stop performing a particular sex act just because the first time was unpleasant, because we don’t really get that option. For many, many women, the first time a penis enters our vaginas it freaking HURTS, and often bleeds. We’re expected to get over that and…

You know what I wish people of both genders would give up? They should give up on assuming that people give a crap what they do in the bedroom. Oh, you stopped giving bj’s? Better write an article about it. Don’t like going down on ladies? Absolutely that’s essay fodder, we’re all so interested. I can’t imagine how…

Gross, dude.

By not going down on women, Lloyd has effectively refused to give women orgasms from sex, while ostensibly continuing to get them for himself.

He sounds like an insufferable little shit, and a terrible lover. But I don’t like the tone of the article that seems to imply that it’s ok if women refuse to give blow jobs but that men who don’t eat pussy are pussies. Honestly, both men and women need too get over their squeamishness about oral sex and I will side…

Alison is a hero because men aren’t very particular in how they orgasm?